“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”
Brene Brown
Here is the audio version of this post. Thank you for listening. Enjoy. The Other Layers
We all have layers, and I am not talking of the ones you do on your clients. I’m speaking of the other layers. The layers of truth, struggles, shame and pain.
My journey has been one of many layers and yesterday I began a new journey to peel back a big one that I have struggled with my entire life. I am writing this post in hopes to help others who struggle as I do, to give permission to those who live with this pain, to have the courage to uncover the pain, share their truth, and in hopes empower others to do the same.
This is not about a weight loss journey. The weight is the result of something much deeper. It was that extreme black and white thinking that has kept me from the truth. This is a journey of turning fears into fuel, battling my anxiety and panic disorder, silencing the voices in my head and a very old film reel in my head and heart that needs to be destroyed.
The truth is, I have battled my entire life with self-esteem and body image issues. When I was young, I was weighed in every single day, and I recorded my weight on a little calendar. Every single day. My greatest “accomplishment” in this area was at the peak of my eating disorder. Popping pills every morning and making sure most of the food I did consume ended up where it belonged, in the toilet, as soon as I ate it. Not awesome. Not at all. I have worked too hard on so many areas of my life to allow this one to win.
It amazes me how we can sabotage ourselves so much, and no matter what, we find excuses as to why we cannot peel back the layers. I understand it’s scary, writing this post is scary for me, putting it out for the world to see, admitting that I have a problem, those are all scary things…
Here is part of the story I have been telling myself for years…
1. I am too busy.
2. I have anxiety and panic disorder.
3. I have a slow metabolism.
4. My Dad died and I am sad.
5. I will start tomorrow.
6. Who cares how you look and feel. It’s nobody’s business.
7. It was that medication they put me on 6 years ago, it’s their fault.
8. I have a fractured lower back.
9. I don’t care.
Some of the excuses above are actual realities of my life. But to make them excuses for not living an awesomely authentic life is just lame. We can always find excuses.
The new story I am telling myself…
1. We find time for that which is important.
2. Food, meditation and daily exercise works wonders for anxiety.
3. Fuck the slow metabolism, it can be re-set with food and exercise.
4. It’s perfectly OK to miss my Dad, and I know there is nothing he wants more than for me to win the battle my demons.
5. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
6. It’s not about what others think, see or feel, its about how I think, see and feel.
7. Forgive the doctors who messed with you. Forgiveness is the first step to freedom.
8. Yes, you do have a fractured back, accept it, and take care of yourself so it can get better.
9. I do care.
We all have battles that we fight in silence. Silence for many can be a killer. I have made a decision to no longer be silent. I made this decision because I want to live my truth in order to help others live theirs.
I am so grateful to have people in my life who support my journeys, we all need cheerleaders. But in the end, my battle is between me and me. Isn’t that the truth for all of our internal battles? Yes, it sucks, and it’s painful to face the darkest parts of ourselves. But when we choose to empower ourselves and peel back more layers, when we choose to be vulnerable, we just never know who we may be empowering in the process. And that is a beautiful thing.
(shared with LOVE from Nina)
PS: You can find the super cool Hair Nerd shirt here. It gives you super powers.
“It is not enough to be busy. The question is: what are we busy about?”
Henry David Thoreau
Here is the audio version of this post. Thank you for listening. Enjoy. Are You Too Busy?
Yesterday I woke up to one of my favorite blogs on the planet, The Minimalists. Their post was on the topic of the busy addiction, a topic that is on my mind often these days and is part of my Creating Awesome Workshop. I was so inspired by their post I decided to write about it too.
The Habitrail
Once upon a time, I was too busy. Too busy to pay attention, smell the roses, listen to my heart, see my friends, enjoy the little things, and attend important family functions. I was too busy to breathe. The truth is, it was all a lie.
It was not that I was too busy, I was on the Habitrail, you know, the fun little toy that hamsters and mice play on, yea, that one. I was addicted to the race. Anything to keep me from feeling, living, and thinking. In order to feel alive, I needed more. God forbid I choose to sit still for one second, because if I did, the world will pass me by. And I was on a mission, a mission of external acceptance, other esteeiming, loading up my bank account with money and my life with all the joys of material things. Sounds awesome doesn’t it?
If Its Important, We Find A Way
Today, I see a sad and disturbing trend. People are using the word busy as an excuse to not do the things they do not want to do. Instead of retuning a phone call, email or text, or showing up for a friend or team member, it’s just so easy to say…”I’m sorry, I’ve been so busy.” We all do it. But it’s a lie. We have a choice of how we spend our time, and if its important to us, we will always find a way. Sometimes we just create busyness around us to distract ourselves from ourselves. Can you relate? I know I can.
Busy Or Meaningful?
My life today is so very different that when I was on the Habitrail. As a new business owner, I probably spend more time on my work than ever before. It’s not that I am too busy, I choose to spend my time doing meaningful stuff. And no matter how much time or energy I put in, I am almost never too busy to pick up the phone or return that email or text. I choose to make time time for my friends and family. I choose to make time for things that really matter.
You Are In Charge Of Your To-Do List
Yesterday my friend texted and wanted me to join her for a drink at The Abbey. Now, if you are from LA, you know The Abbey on Sundays is pretty awesome. I found myself coming up with the busy excuse, and then came clean, I was in a little bit of a funk, and not in the mood. Honesty, what a concept. Of course, she totally understood, because she is awesome. Thanks G-Unit, I love you.
Next time you find yourself using the “I am so busy” excuse, how about being honest and just saying, “I choose to use my time for other things”, “You are just not that important to me”, “No thanks”, or “I am not interested”, “I just don’t care”, or “I’m in a funk, so I will pass, but thanks so much for thinking of me.”
It takes courage to be honest. Next time you find yourself using the busy excuse, try telling the truth, first to yourself and then to others. You are in charge of your to-do list. Remember that.
“Marketing is not the art of finding clever ways to dispose of what you make. It is the art of creating genuine customer value.”
Philip Kotler
Here is the audio version of this post, background snoring compliments of Zen Louis Kovner, my perfect pug. The Customer Is Always Wrong
I have a very kinda dislike/dislike relationship with daily deal platforms such as Groupon, Living Social, etc. Trusting my gut has always served me well and my gut has always told me most of these platforms care about one thing and it’s not small business.
It’s so easy for many small businesses to get lured into quick revenue and promises of 1000’s of new clients running in the door. And these platforms have gotten so good at presenting all their “facts” that claim their “deals” are game changers.
If you have experienced one of these deals, you may have had one of these outcomes or a mix of the three:
1. Awesome sales, unhappy team members and no return customers.
2. Not so awesome sales, unhappy team members and some return customers.
3. Good sales, happy team members, some return customers.
To me, these platforms are commodity builders, not brand builders. Brands are built through value and meaning, commodities are endless amounts of the same stuff for the lowest price.
So what does this have to do with customers? Well, one of my clients has actually been successful with these types of deal platforms, to my dismay I might add. But then again, they do so many things right. They do not excessively discount, they provide an exceptional experience, they get buy in from their team and they have a program to retain the clients they get via these deals.
Last week, I had a jaw dropping interaction with a deal site that inspired this post. They claimed that the last promotion run with my client was “unsuccessful” and gave me all the reasons why. What floored me is that they never once asked how the promotion did for my client. Had they asked, they would have known my client was very happy, had retained a high percentage of the clients and was ready to sign on for another promotion.
Here is a portion of the email interaction with this sales person:
Sales Person
“It looks like the performance has greatly been hindered because we haven’t added enough value (I’m basing this on historical data from our market and what has been shown to work well) for the consumer. Since this is an impulse buy we need to make sure the customer sees an amazing value right off the bat. This helps in purchases.”
Me
“My client has been very happy with the performance of the previous promotions. They are not looking for a high volume of deal chasers, but for potential long term clients. They have been very successful with retaining the clients that discovered them via these promotions. I would expect success be defined by how the business did with the promotion, not the other way around, or at least seeing both sides before determining if something was successful. If you suggest a higher discount for more volume, we will respectfully pass.”
What is wrong with this picture? A million things…
1. I would think success would be defined by the customer, not the other way around.
2. By value they mean lowest price, which is absolutely sad and disturbing on many levels.
3. They fail to define “work well”, yet I know all it really means is it worked well for them, not my client.
4. Since when is the customer always wrong?
Whether you believe the customer is always right, wrong or a mix of the two, what never changes is that we must define value in the customers eyes and find out what’s important to them, because at the end of the day, if the customer sees value, they buy stuff. And value does not always mean lowest price.
I always knew this was how these deal platforms really felt, but I had never seen it in writing until last week. In the end, the deal platform lost a customer because apparently, the customer is always wrong.
I get so sad when people make fun of people’s ability to spell or choose the proper words. Instead of making fun of us, how about trying to help us. Not everyone did well in traditional school, and spelling & grammar are not in cosmetology text books last time I checked.
In the era of social business and all of us becoming publishers of content, we are expected to be able to spell and use proper grammar when posting to our business pages. It does have an impact on how our brand in seen in the eyes of clients. While spell check is our BFF, most social platforms do not have grammar check. Bummer.
Spelling and grammar have always been a struggle for me and one of the many angst’s my awesome Mom had raising me. I know she is reading this post, so Mom, I really was listening to you, it was just my inner rebel that wanted you to think I wasn’t. I love you. Thank you for being awesome.
Here are a few tips to better understand how and when certain words are used:
There. Their. They’re.
There is a super awesome salon in LA. They’re the best colorists I know. Their technique is the bomb.
Hey, look over there.
Have you seen their new haircut? They’re such an awesome group of people.
Accept. Except.
We accept all forms of payment at our salon except Monopoly money.
I accept your invitation.
I can see you any day except Monday.
Your. You’re.
Can I borrow your blow dryer? You’re the most awesome hairdresser, ever!
How much are your haircuts? You’re the best session stylist I have ever seen.
To. Too. Two.
There are too many products to choose from, I really only need two.
Do you want to go to the hair show?
I am creating awesome in my marketing, you too?
I have two openings, which one would you like to reserve?
If you are judging this blog post and looking for mistakes, which I am sure there are some in this very sentence, maybe try focusing your energy on empowering those who need help.
One of the most common questions I get asked by salon owners is where to find content for their social biz pages. One thing to always remember when creating content (original stuff) or curating content (sharing other people’s stuff) is it must fit your brand, your story, your why and your voice. Always remember, your content is your marketing.
There are so many resources for content, you just need to know where to look. Sometimes, the best content is right where you are standing, in your own salon.
Here are some awesome content resources for you to take a look at.
1. Fashion + Beauty Blogs + Sites You will almost always find the latest & greatest fashion & beauty content to share with your community on these pages. From the latest celebrity trends, to how-to’s and more. These are some of my faves…
3. Pinterest
Search anything you are looking for and I promise, it will be found. Pinterest has awesome fashion, beauty, lifestyle, food, inspiration and more. Just always remember to credit the source so you can stay socially awesome.
4. Manufacturer Partners
For product info, high quality hair & product images turn to your manufacturer partners. They have big budgets and art departments, unlike most of us. Use the beautiful imagery and copywriting they create.
5. Quote Makers
For those of you who have a community looking for inspiration, humor or just love quotes, these are my go-to quote markers for Passion Squared.
6. Your Salon
This is the best resource of all. Before’s and afters, client & stylist features, behind the scenes (BTS) are all typically the most engaging content you can post on your social pages. So download a pic app, get on Instagram and start creating awesome.
