Delays + Denials

All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.  – J.M Barrie, Creator of Peter Pan

 

Here is the audio version of this post. It’s my first time recording on a new computer in my new space, so its a bit wonky, it will get better. Thank you so much for understanding and listening. Enjoy.

For the last 7 months, I have been overwhelmed with the process of selling my house and deciding where I would be moving myself, my canine babies and Passion Squared. Talk about an experience in patience and trust. OMG, there were days and weeks I was not sure I would survive.

Being overwhelmed by all the stops and starts and mistakes. Not knowing when or if, or as my therapist says, being in a forever “hallway”. Ugh, hallways, seriously one of the worst places to be. So why am I sharing this in my blog?

For months I have been thinking about how I would share my experience once I came out the other side. So here I sit today, finally out of the hallway and into my new space, and new chapter.

So what did I learn?

A delay is not always a denial.
When I think back on my life, I am so grateful for the things that did not go my way, as much as I am for the things that did. And many times, the things I wanted so badly, were not actually the best things for me. I trust that the Universe or what ever you want to call it knows. The more I learn to trust and pay attention, the more I see this as truth.

Life is one series of lessons.
When I choose to look at it that way, things get a little bit easier and actually become funny in a way. Cause seriously, many times, all I could do was laugh, in between tears of course. What makes life so awesome is the lessons, if we can see them and learn from them. Isn’t that why we are here?

Wants and needs are very different.
What I wanted was my house to sell in 5 seconds so I could get on with my life, no interruptions, nothing. Realistic? Hell no! What I needed was to trust that the people I put in charge of selling my house knew what they were doing, and that the perfect buyer would come, eventually. Patience is still not my strong suit. And I made a huge mistake choosing my first realtor. So I own my decision, make better choices, and move forward. And trust that if I do my part, my needs will be met. Even when it’s not on my perfect timeline.

What is right for you is not necessarily right for me.
This is one of the biggest reminders for me during this process. You see, I had to sit for a long time in my decision to buy a house in the first place. Looking in the mirror is never easy. I purchased a home because that is what I thought I was supposed to do. So many people told me that was what I was supposed to do. You know, the American dream thing? Well, guess what? That is total BS.

In looking through years of decisions I have made, I realized many of them were based on what other people thought. What other people said. Not on what felt right for me. So here I sit, realizing again that so much of my life was built based on others thoughts and opinions. Not everyone is meant to be a homeowner, or a business owner for that matter. For reals. We all have a path. We all have skill sets. But to assume what is right for you is right for me is what gets so many of us in trouble. With life, leadership, and even home ownership.

So today, as I sit in my new loft space in downtown LA, with all the sights and sounds, the energy, the aliveness, I am finally at peace. Knowing that this was all just another awesome lesson, in this crazy journey called life. And today, I am grateful for the delays and denials. I am grateful for everything.

(shared with LOVE from Nina)

 

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