Its All In Your Head Passion Squared

It’s All In Your Head: My Truth About Anxiety

May 6, 2016Nina KovnerGROW, MY TRUTH

“I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.” Steve Maraboli

(this post was originally published on February 10, 2014. I have gotten so many requests recently to discuss the topic of anxiety I chose to update it today)

Anxiety sucks. And its real. It can rob of us so much joy. It can paralyze us and isolate us. I am continually asked about this topic as I have shared openly that I live with anxiety and panic disorder, and on Saturday, a beautiful member of the Passion Squared community asked that I share some ways that I have been able to deal with it.

First and foremost, I am not a doctor. Duh. But I am in treatment and continue to battle this crippling condition, successfully (most of the time), thus, my ability to speak on the topic from MY experience.

Lets begin with the definition of generalized anxiety disorder explained by The National Institute of Mental Health…

“All of us worry about things like health, money, or family problems. But people with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) are extremely worried about these and many other things, even when there is little or no reason to worry about them. They are very anxious about just getting through the day. They think things will always go badly. At times, worrying keeps people with GAD from doing everyday tasks.”

So yes, it is all in our head, and for us, the fear and worry are very real.

The following are the ways that I treat my anxiety today…

1. Therapy
I consistently see a therapist. Knowing that I have a mental disorder, I have accepted that one of the best ways to keep my head straight is to treat it. When we have a physical health issue, we see a doctor. Mental health is no different.

2. Eating + Exercise
One of the best pieces of advice I was given that works for me was about keeping my blood sugar regulated, meaning, eating some type of protein every 3-4 hours. In addition to that, I am very mindful of how much I mix caffeine and sugar. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE espresso and drink it every morning. But I do not drink Venti Iced Mochas (sugar mixed with caffeine). Now on the exercise front, it works. And while I am not yet to the point where I do it consistently, when I do, my anxiety is greatly reduced.

3. Vitamin B
Again, I am not a doctor and am not saying what works for me will work for you, but keeping loaded up on B vitamins has absolutely helped me. And when I am not staying loaded up on B’s, I can feel the difference.

4. Music
Whenever I am absolutely freaking out, I throw in my ear buds and listen to meditation music, Zen type stuff. It seems to really help calm down my heart rate. At the same time, if I am getting ready to present in front of an audience and cannot catch my breath, which is often, I will listen to my fave hip hop song, it seems to work for me as well.

5. Gratitude + Meditation + Prayer
One of the things I have learned about anxiety is that it can go from bad and to worse the more we focus on it and all the things we are fearful of. When I make my gratitude list, for just that moment, I get out of my head. It works. Same goes for meditation and prayer. Now, I am not religious, but I do my own kind of prayer. The meditation thing, I do by listening to meditation music as mentioned in #4.

6. Take A Walk
I know, I get so angry when people are like…”Just take a walk, you will feel better.” OMG, do you have any idea what I am going thorough right now? But in all seriousness, removing myself from the current environment, just for a few moments, helps. So if you are at work, walk outside. At home, move to another room. Anything you can do to change your environment can help.

7. Give Someone A Hand
This is a big one. The more we focus on our fears, the more fearful and anxious we become. So again, like the gratitude list, its good to get out of our own heads. Helping someone out, a co-worker, a boss, a friend or neighbor helps me get out of my head, and move past the anxiety I am feeling in that moment.

8. Medication
Now again, I am NOT A DOCTOR. I am only speaking from my experience and plead with you to go back to point 1, see a mental health professional and together, decide what the best treatment for you is. I have chosen not to be consistently medicated. Reason being, I tried, and I had disastrous results. My choice has been to work my ass off to battle this disorder the most natural way I can. However, I do have a prescription for a medication that I take ONLY when I am in a serious and debilitating attack. I am proud to say, I only have to take this 1-2 times a month, at most. And it is always a last resort for me.

9. Healthy Boundaries + Creating Space
Last but not least, I have created a space of peace and calm in my world. I have removed toxic people, toxic places, and most toxic things. I have sacrificed a lot to do this, but as an adult, I get to choose. And so do you. This could mean saying NO more, pairing down that to-so list, removing projects that are overwhelming you, staying offline from time to time, etc. It is a choice. As hard as that is to grasp.

Living with anxiety blows but we do have a choice of how we are going to let it control our lives. And like anything worth having in life, it takes work.

A big shout out of love + gratitude to Duke Strange, who inspired this post.

If you are looking for some daily inspiration and help with keeping you on track, sign up for my Love Notes Daily, one of the most loved services I offer.

Love + Awesomeness-
Nina

Aura Mae Blog

A School Stories: Meet Aura Mae

May 2, 2016Nina KovnerA School Stories, GROW

“Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

I honestly can’t remember when I discovered the beautiful Aura Mae, but when I did, there was an instant connection. Her spirit is larger than life, and I just knew she was someone special. What inspires me most about Aura is how she has figured out how to do life in a way that feeds her spirit. Whether its creating art with haircolor, or creating art with food, or watching her with her sweet dog Gracie Mae play in nature, Aura just gets it. What an honor it is to share a little glimpse into the awesome biz, and life that is Aura Mae…

N. What does passion look and feel like to you?
A. Passion is the reason I get out of bed. It’s the knowledge that I make a difference and that if I didn’t show up, the world would be a less colorful place. That I matter. That we all matter.

N. Why did you join A School?
A. My salon is celebrating its Silver Anniversary this year. We have survived so much and I wish I could say that it is because of my brilliant business acumen, but it is most likely despite my best efforts that we are still here. Our current focus is on remaining relevant to a new generation of clients. I knew that what I had done in the past wasn’t going to be enough to reach the Connected Generation and I sought out A School to help me understand how to connect with them. Also, I had recently gone through what I call The Dark Night of My Creative Soul where I was struggling to find my passion in my business and in my work behind the chair. I knew that I needed something to help keep me focused and accountable if I wanted the business to survive.

N. What have you learned on your journey in A School?
A. Mostly that I am not alone in my struggles. That running a small, creative business is real work and there is real help available. I don’t have to figure everything out on my own. I can turn to my peers for insight, guidance and support.

N. Why did you become an owner?
A. My college jobs were in food service and medical care. I quickly realized that most of those customers were miserable and more than willing to share their misery with me. My Uncle Mike was a handsome, successful, suave hairdresser and salon owner. During one of my early Saturday morning appointments, I realized that his salon customers were actually happy to be there. I decided that I wanted to work with happy people and I wanted to run a business that created that experience. I left college and signed up for beauty school immediately.

N. What is your biggest lesson so far being an owner?
A. You can’t let toxic staff stay, not matter how much you believe in their potential and your ability to bring them to it.

N. How do you handle difficult situations with clients or team members?
A. I listen (a skill I have worked hard to be better at!) and try to understand their perspective. Then I focus on what I can do to resolve the issue. I am good at helping people reach compromise, but I won’t tolerate unkindness in the salon from staff or customers.

N. What ONE tool would you say is the most effective in marketing your business and why?
A. Because we have been in business so long, most of our new business comes from brand recognition that we have built over time. We have built a reputation for being on the cutting edge of new technology. We were one of the first salons in our area to have a website and online booking. We had a van with a 3M graphics wrap that spread our name well (years after it was decommissioned we were still getting new clients say it was the van that brought them in.) We used to have a 24 hour emergency haircolor hotline (the staff took turns keeping the pager.) We were among the first Board Certified Haircolorists and people know that we will be the first to try new service offerings (like keratin smoothers and Olaplex.)

We’ve tried lots of paid advertising that didn’t show results (newspaper, billboards, tv) and today most new clients say they initially found us online searching “best Tacoma salon” which brought them to our website/Instagram/Facebook/Yelp. By the time they actually get in the chair, they know who we are as a business, which staff they might be best matched with and are already invested in our mutual success! In the pre-internet era, we used to struggle with turning first time clients into regulars. Now that people can learn about us before they come in, we are seeing clients who are more likely to be a good fit from visit one.

N. Where does your inspiration come from?
A. My haircolor inspiration comes from nature. I am known for working with a bright palette and I often try to capture the colors of plants, water, sky and animals in my work.

N. How do you practice self-care?
A. I developed The Aura Mae Way to share with others the pieces of the puzzle I stumbled upon while trying to live my most beautiful life: Eat more vegetables. Spend time outside. Love yourself and others. Find a spiritual practice that speaks to you.

I no longer put my focus on what I don’t want, I just load up on so much of the good that the lousy (thoughts, foods, actions) gets crowded out.

N. Coffee Bean or Starbucks?
A. Gosh, I don’t drink coffee anymore! Guess I have to pick the local business: Starbucks

N. Favorite quote?
A.“Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

You can find Aura’s salon, Azarra Salon & Wine on Instagram and Facebook and be sure to check out her other passion, as the Kitchen Beautician on Instagram.

A big shout out of love + gratitude to Aura Mae for sharing her story with us. You my friend are a total inspiration. We are so grateful to be on this journey with you!

Love + Awesomeness-
Nina

If you are a creative small biz owner in the pro beauty world and looking for a ton of love, support and help with creating an awesome biz + life, A School may be a good fit for you.

#QandAwesome 43 Perfectionism + Courage

April 30, 2016Nina Kovner#QandAwesome, GROW

In this episode of #QandAwesome, I talk the dangerous side of perfectionism. It takes courage to drop the excuses and create. And while it’s uncomfortable, the truth is everything awesome in life is generally uncomfortable. Thank you so much for watching! 

 

The Miseducation of A Brand Passion Squared hd

The Miseducation of A Brand

April 18, 2016Nina KovnerGROW

“A cool logo does not make you a brand.”

My life’s work has been about creating brands, building brands, growing brands and reinventing brands. And each day I see the term brand used, is another day my heart breaks a little bit more as the word seems to become more misunderstood. And don’t get me wrong, it is perfectly OK to simply have a great business, but a great business is not the same as having an awesome brand.

What A Brand Is Not.
A logo
A website
A URL
A trademark
A name
An Instagram account
A building
A paint color
A business card
A business
A product
A service
A sticker
Etc…

What A Brand Is
A brand is an entire experience. How I feel when engaging with you and the decisions and actions I take (over time) because of that feeling. i.e. click, call, book, tell my friends.
A brand is…
An experience
A feeling
A connection
A culture
A relationship
A story
Which ultimately leads to a decision and choice to take action. Over time. Again and again.

According to Seth Godin, the master of all things marketing and one of my most early mentors of marketing… “A brand’s value is merely the sum total of how much extra people will pay, or how often they choose, the expectations, memories, stories and relationships of one brand over the alternatives.”

Several elements go into creating a brand of long term value. And yes, brand identity (logo, colors, fonts, image, etc.) is a part of creating an awesome brand, but it is not the brand. Big difference.

You can have a beautiful logo and no brand recognition.
You can have a cute sticker but no brand value.
You can have a beautiful building but no clients.
You can have a killer Instagram following but no relationships.
You can have a beautiful paint color but no connections.
You can have a fancy, overpriced website but no visitors.
You can sell a product or service one time but have no repeat clients over time.

So let’s play a game…
When you think of Passion Squared, how do you feel?
When you chose to do business with, follow or subscribe to Passion Squared, why did you make that choice?
When you recommend Passion Squared to your friends, what do you tell them and why?
When you engage with a Passion Squared coaching session, workshop or class, how do you feel when you leave?

If you said you feel empowered, have more clarity, feel loved, inspired, informed, you trust me, it feels like I understand you; that is when my brand has created some form of value for you and you made a choice of exchanging time and money for that experience.

And know this… All the work I have done over the last 5 years building the Passion Squared brand got us to this point. Each move I make, each workshop I teach, each program I create, each story I tell, each piece of content I share, each blog I write, its all strategic. Its all by design. And quite frankly, it has nothing to do with my cool logo. Cause the reality is, I had the logo long before you chose to engage with my brand. And the logo was meaningless and had no value, without all the other efforts I have put into creating something of value for you, consistently, over time. Again and again.

However, when you see my logo, if you know my brand, it inspires a feeling. A feeling I work daily to create. You see how this works? It’s not as simple as someone saying, “I am going to teach you branding”.

Creating a brand of value is much more than a cute logo or a bunch of followers on Instagram. Remember that.

Love + Awesomeness-
Nina

PS: I also wrote about this topic a few years ago here.

 

A School Stories- Meet Priscila Soriano

A School Stories: Meet Priscila Soriano

April 11, 2016Nina KovnerA School Stories, GROW

“To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.” Friedrich Nietzsche

It is such a gift to be connected to so many courageous and passionate humans like Priscila. In listening to her journey and passion for both the art of hair and the art of self care, I am beyond inspired. You see, at the end of the day, as leaders and awesomeness creators, we must learn to find our rhythm, and that includes how we will take care of the most important asset we have, ourselves. What an honor it was to get this glimpse into the awesomeness that is Priscila Soriano.

N. What does passion look and feel like to you?
P. Passion to me is an energy that comes from this unknown place within myself. An un explainable energy that pushes me to continue going even when I want to give up. Passion is what gets me up in the morning. Passion is what makes me accountable. Passion is what keeps me on check. Passion helps me believe in the growth of myself and others.

N. Why did you join A School?
P. I joined A School because I felt like I needed to get out of my comfort zone and make very important wise decisions on where I want my career to take me. A School was the perfect match for my personality.

N. What have you learned on your journey in A School?
P. Not only have I learned more about technical computer tech-y stuff but learned to do more soul searching, and just how important it is to stay true to yourself and be authentic to your audience in order to truly brand/market your business and engage. I had never felt more connected (and understanding) to the lessons I learn here.  I love that it goes deeper than learning the “technicals” on how to market your business but the understanding of WHY you want to put yourself out there. A School really makes you think about how you want to create and authentic connection with whomever you’re trying to reach instead of just selling them something or selling yourself. Learning how to create value. Continued education is a priority in my career.

N. Why did you become an owner?
P. I decided to become an owner of my own brand because I want to share my knowledge with the world as I continue to learn and grow. I want to mentor and inspire other stylists to continue going even when things get tough. Being surrounded by so many ass kicking women in our industry was a big push to pursue my dreams. I don’t think I would be where I am and headed where I’m going if it weren’t for them.

N. What is your biggest lesson so far being an owner?
P. My biggest lesson (which I am still learning) so far has been finding the COURAGE to be my true self, making myself vulnerable, And coming to terms with the fact that I am NOT perfect and I will never be able to please everyone! Learning to not take things personally.

N. How do you handle difficult situations with clients or team members?
P. I try to take myself out of the situation and look at it from a neutral perspective (leaving my ego out, yet staying human) so I can better come up with a fair solution in order to move on.

N. What ONE tool would you say is the most effective in marketing your business and why?
P. The modern day CELL PHONE!  You can take pix of your work and post them on SOCIAL MEDIA for the world to see and build a connection with your audience! All from your handy dandy cell phone!  I have been taking pictures of my work since I was in beauty school and have always put my work out there. It’s also really crazy to see how much my hair and photography skills have improved.

N. Where does your inspiration come from?
P. Rap music, travel, philosophy  and, FASHION! I am obsessed with fashion and it is EVERYWHERE! I love all forms of fashion from high to street to decades. Everyone in this world has their own personal style. I love being able to create a fashion statement on someone’s hair. Every single detail counts because how decorate ourselves whether it’s clothes, makeup, tattoos, or hair, subtle or dramatic. It allows us to express inner emotions without having to say a word. I’ve started to do more traveling and my favorite thing to do is people watch! I get so inspired just by slowing down and paying attention to my surroundings and little details that create a bigger picture.

N. How do you practice self-care?
P. Self care is always number one! How are we going to take care of anyone else if we can’t take care of ourselves? Self care is something very personal and sacred to me and it’s taken me a while to put my well being before anything else.  I had been battling depression and addiction since I was 11 years old! Both my parents are Mexican immigrants and were always working hard to provide me a better life. Being first generation Chicana I hope i can inspire anyone out there that can relate. When I was in middle school they weren’t around much so I decided to find a family somewhere else and disconnected myself from my parents. My friends and I started ditching school drinking 40’s oz. at the rail road tracks by school and just wanting to feel a part of something. Life has a way of guiding you in the right direction, if you allow it.

I started beauty school when I was 15 years old and ever since I started my career I had to continue to get my shit together because I didn’t want to loose the ONE good thing I had going for me. All I wanted to do was create beautiful hair. I saw that when I actually took care of myself things got better in my career and that felt so much better than and high! I slowly came to realize that what I was doing in my career was changing lives, helping build up another human being self esteem. I began to feel a lot of pressure trying to live a double life was becoming too much for me to handle. I knew something needed to change so I slowly changed my lifestyle until I got completely sober! On my journey I’ve learned to take better care of myself. Eating right, drinking water, exercising, going to the chiropractor, being more conscious of my thoughts and actions, feeling all the feels, all that shit. I learned that your mind and body are connected. Our emotions can create physical illnesses.

I practice self care every single day even between clients. That can be anything from drinking a big ass glass green juice, to stretching my body between clients and being mindful of my posture when working on clients, to meditation, taking the time to reflect on my emotions, thoughts and actions. Staying in tune to what your body needs is crucial! Being persistent my self care routine and balancing personal life and career has been the key! I had to surround myself with like minded people who love and support each other. I’m back in great terms with my wonderful loving parents and I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have a life worth living. I get to call Concrete Rose Salon my home and get to inspire and be inspired by my salon family! I’m just trying to do some killer hair learn as much as I can, pass on my knowledge and INSPIRE.

N. Coffee Bean or Starbucks?
P. Gotta shout out to all my VERVE girls!

N. Favorite quote?
P. “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.” Friedrich Nietzsche

You can find Priscila on Instagram, and on the Concrete Rose Salon website.

A big shout out of love + gratitude to Priscila for sharing her story with us. You are a true inspiration and we are so grateful to be on this journey with you!

Love + Awesomeness-
Nina

If you are a creative small biz owner in the pro beauty world and looking for a ton of love, support and help with creating an awesome biz + life, A School may be a good fit for you.