Zen Louis Kovner

Over You… A Grief Story

September 13, 2015Nina KovnerGROW, MY TRUTH

“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light. Brené Brown

This post was originally written on June 17, 2013, as I was processing the unbearable grief of losing my Dad unexpectedly. Today, on September 14, 2015, over two years later, I felt compelled to share it again, upon losing the best little dude on the planet, my Zen Louis Kovner. Not so ironically, the original audio recording of this post had Zen snoring in the background. Precious moments, as well as reminders, the daily reminders of our lost loved ones are gifts, no matter how much they hurt our hearts. This is for Zen… And my Dad, And for You, and for Me.

I was supposed to write this post yesterday, on Fathers Day. But I found that I just could not focus, or really get out of bed to be honest. I was sad.

The truth is, I have many days like this. I miss my Dad. Fathers Day sucks. It is just a brutal reminder that my Dad is gone.

They say I’ll be OK. I was told the first year it the hardest. Really? It’s been 1 year, 6 months and 5 days. Still not any easier. But thanks for trying.

Our emotions are funny little things. As is the desire of others to try to “make everything better”. Sometimes, we just have to sit in it. To feel it. To accept it. To explore the darkness. For me, its part of the healing process.

This is not about being positive or negative, its about being honest with ourselves about how we really feel. Pretending everything is OK is not real. It’s not honest.

For me, music is medicine, it helps me express my pain, my sadness, my happiness, my joy and serves as a way to express myself, to myself, when things are too crazy to process.

When I first heard the song Over You, Cassadee Pope was singing it on The Voice. I absolutely lost it. It was everything I was feeling and could not express. This past week I must have listened to it 10 times. I needed to express what I was feeling, and was having a hard time. This song seems to do the trick. Instant waterworks and emotion.

I learned the hard way (by hard way I mean a total breakdown and 5 weeks in rehab) that when we do not express our truest authentic self, we begin to die inside. In this world of endless “motivation”, “inspiration” and “positivity”, we do ourselves the greatest disservice by not owning our real emotions. Being sad is OK. Losing a parent sucks. Pretending we are over it sucks even more.

Here are the lyrics to the song that has become my medicine. If you are sad or in pain about losing a loved one, I hope that maybe these lyrics speak to your heart too. It’s OK to not be OK. It’s actually better than OK, it means you are human. And humans feel things.

Over You by Miranda Lambert

“Weather man said it’s gonna snow
By now I should be used to the cold
Mid-February shouldn’t be so scary
It was only December
I still remember the presents, the tree, you and me

But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I’ll be OK
But I’m not going to ever get over you

Living alone here in this place
I think of you, and I’m not afraid
Your favorite records make me feel better
Cause you sing along
With every song
I know you didn’t mean to give them to me

But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I’ll be OK
But I’m not going to ever get over you

It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone

Cause you went away, How dare you? I miss you They say I’ll be OK But I’m not going to ever get over you.”

The greatest gift we can give ourselves and our world is to be our authentic selves. I am not talking about wallowing or being paralyzed by our emotions, I am talking about feeling them, acknowledging they are real, processing them and coming out on the other side empowered, and forever changed.

Love + Gratitude-
Nina

If It Was Easy HD

If It Was Easy

August 31, 2015Nina KovnerGROW

“I’m a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.” Thomas Jefferson

(originally posted in April 2014, revised August 2015)

A conversation I had with a super awesome hairdresser the other day has been completely stuck in my mind, so what better way to get it out than to share it. Here is how the conversation went…

We were discussing a very successful salon in Los Angeles. Like mad successful. How did we define successful? Happy team members, happy clients. A TON of traffic. I also happen to know they are very profitable. My friend said to me…”Why don’t other salons work like that? They could be awesome too!” My response was, I know. They could. But they choose not to.

You see, success is a choice. And it is NOT easy. No matter what people say. Oh, and let’s just smash the other myth, that there is a secret. I call total BS on that one. And then there is the “they are so lucky.” Really? Luck? I like what Thomas Jefferson said in the quote above, that luck is tied directly to work. Very smart man.

Don’t know what to do to be successful? Find out. When we choose to become a brand owner, we have opted into knowing what it takes and doing what it takes. We either acquire the knowledge or hire the knowledge. We create. Then we execute like a bad ass. Measure. Adjust. Create again. Period.

If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. What are you doing to grow your business? Hiring the knowledge or acquiring the knowledge? It’s a choice. And the most important thing to do right now it to make one.

Love + Awesomeness-

Nina

 

The Art of The Question hd

The Art of The Question

August 24, 2015Nina KovnerENGAGE, GROW

In school, we’re rewarded for having the answer, not for asking a good question.  -Richard Saul Wurman

Questions… Our brain is triggered by questions. We move towards what we focus on. Awesome questions create awesome learning… In my life, with years of education, sales and marketing experiences, I have learned so much about asking good questions. #questionwisdom

Last night as I was getting ready for “sweet dreams”, and yes, if you didn’t know, when I post my sweet dreams message, I am in fact, getting ready to turn in for the night. I just happen to sit on #teamearlybird but will never ever tell you which team to sit on. Do you. Do awesome. So I digress… Let’s continue…

Last night, my awesome buddy and super smart human @andrewdoeshair posted a question he gets so very often, as do I, which is… “How do I get more followers?” You can see his post here. It’s awesome. He is awesome. He creates value. He is interested. He engages. It’s no wonder he has such a passionate group of followers and has managed to create wildly successful businesses and a rad life.

While I have blogged on the topic of engagement, relationships, and social, you can find just a few posts here, and here, and here… I will break it down one more time, well not really, I will blog on this topic til it no longer needs to be blogged on. Why? There still seems to be so much confusion about the word “social”.

Let’s look at the formal definition…

Social adjective (aka action word)
: relating to or involving activities in which people spend time talking to each other or doing enjoyable things with each other
: liking to be with and talk to people
: happy to be with people
: of or relating to people or society in general

Wow, it’s an action word. Who knew, right? Lol.

So now let’s try flipping the script, shall we?
1. Instead of asking how to get more followers, ask how can I be of value?

2. Instead of asking how to get more followers… ask how can I create more valuable content that followers want to follow.

3. Instead of asking how to get more followers, ask how can I create awesome work, consistently, and share it.

4. Instead of asking how to get more followers, ask how can I spend way more time listening than talking? Engaging, two way conversations, relationship building, you know, the stuff that matters.

5. Instead of asking how to get more followers, engage. And by engage I mean follow others who are of value to you, like, comment and share, authentically. Authentically. I mean authentically. There are some Insta experts out there that tell you to randomly search hashtags and make a super inauthentic comment on random peoples pages. #lame

6. Instead of asking how to get more followers, ask how can I become an awesome storyteller. Find out what’s important to your target audience and share. Consistently.

It’s not that we don’t know how to get more followers, and by followers, I mean create something of value for people to follow, it’s just that many of us are looking for a magic bullet, a secret sauce, and a short cut. And I am here to tell you, just as Andrew did so well in his post, there is no magic bullet or secret sauce.

Oh wait. There is a short cut… You can buy followers. I know, crazy huh? And good luck with that.

Love + Awesomeness-

Nina @passionsquared

PS: A big shout out of thanks to Andrew for inspiring this post! Love your face buddy.

Pride of Ownership Header

Pride of Ownership

August 17, 2015Nina KovnerGROW

Small Business isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for the brave, the patient and the persistent. It’s for the overcomer.  -Unknown

Not everyone is meant to be a small business owner. And that is OK. There are leaders and followers, owners and team members. We each play a very important role in the world, no matter where we sit in it. After decades of working with and for owners, and being one, I have learned a ton about what it takes to be an owner. The key is in the knowing. In the self-awareness, in the acceptance that you may or may not be cut out for this. And that too, is OK.

The owner arrives earlier.

The owner stays later.

The owner serves.

The owner leads.

The owner creates leaders.

The owner seeks.

The owner struggles.

The owner shines.

The owner is grateful.

The owner creates.

The owner gathers.

The owner connects.

The owner is consistent.

The owner is compassionate.

The owner communicates.

The owner coaches.

The owner gets coached.

The owner engages.

The owner empowers.

The owner listens.

The owner is honest.

The owner invests.

The owner fails.

The owner succeeds.

The owner learns.

The owner responds.

The owner commits.

The owner sources.

The owner solves.

The owner sacrifices.

The owner is passionate.

The owner perseveres.

The owner has boundaries.

The owner knows when to say yes.

The owner knows when to say no.

The owner takes responsibility.

The owner is responsible.

The owner laughs.

The owner loves.

The owner cries.

The owner cares.

The owner is brave.

The owner has courage.

Not everyone is meant to be an owner.

Are you?

Love + Awesomeness-
Nina

 

5 Steps To Creating #InstaAwesome

5 Steps To Creating #InstaAwesome

August 10, 2015Nina KovnerENGAGE, GROW

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Dale Carnegie

Ok, so I am pretty sure you do not need convincing that Instagram is the platform of the moment for so many people and businesses. And by that I mean, the impact of relationship and biz building for creative small businesses and the humans who lead them and work in them. #fact

But there are still so many myths and misconceptions on how to create awesome with the platform so I thought I would share what I know to be true and where to begin… And yes, I have written about this many times, and yes, I believe it cannot be repeated enough. So here we go…

Why
First and foremost, as with any platform, we always start with why, as the great Simon Sinek says. The objective. As in, why are we engaging on Instagram and why does anyone care? Instead of focusing on followers, focus on creating value, consistently. Yes, consistently. Let me say that one more time, consistently.

1. What is your story?
People respond to stories. Brands and businesses tell stories. What is yours? And while we are on that topic, what is in your about section? It matters. Why are you, who are you, and how do I connect with you?

2. What value will you bring to the conversation?
Listen more than you talk. But when you do talk, what value are you bringing to the table? This is not about self-promotion, it is about creating value.

3. What will your theme be?
All the best Insta’s have a theme. A look. A feel. A vibe. They exude energy. And your theme needs to be consistent with your brand identity. Your overall brand look and feel.

4. What hashtags will you use to connect, engage and become more discoverable?
Yes use hashtags, even more important, use them consistently. Unless you are Beyoncé, then clearly there is no need, we will seek you out. But if you are not Beyoncé, here are the general guidelines for local businesses…

a. Use popular hashtags that are consistent with your content and story. i.e. #ombre #braids #bridalhair #fitspo #athlete
b. Use branded hashtag, always. In my case, its #passionsquared
c. Use your local hashtags. In Portland, its #PDX, in Downtown LA, its #DTLA, find yours by searching hashtags on Insta or Google it.

5. How much time are you willing to invest in building relationships, engaging, and content creation?
Ok, this is where the pro’s and amateurs divide. If you are serious about building relationships, engaging, and listening, then you will invest the time. Period. How much? It depends on your content and engagement plan. I spend 2+ hours a day on Instagram. It is my primary social platform. And yes, a majority of my referrals come from Instagram. Is there a secret? Nope.

BONUS Tips!
When capturing, creating and posting content, please keep these things in mind…
Take a gazillion photos so you can choose the best one. One photo is not enough. How many are enough? You will know when you get the money shot.

Only post quality stuff. Really, did Nina just say that? Duh. Yes, I did, cause it needs to be said.

What do I mean by quality stuff? Lighting, Background, Detail, Clarity

Want to see how some others are doing it? Follow these passionate and talented humans. And look for themes, quality, consistency, storytelling, backgrounds, lighting, clarity, and detail. And educated eye and is an awesome eye. And why do I share these? Because I know for a fact Instagram has helped empower their biz + their lives. And I only work with facts. Not hype. Not theory. Simply facts.

@larisadoll
@xostylistxo
@glamiris
@hairgod_zito
@jaywesleyolson
@theconfessionsofahairstylist
@lalasupdos
@butterflyloftsalon
@andrewdoeshair
@anthonythebarber916
@sugarskulls
@heatherchapmanhair
@amberdodzweit

And of course, @passionsquared

Love + Awesomeness-

Nina