She Said. He Said

She Said. He Said.

August 5, 2013Nina KovnerGROW

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

George Bernard Shaw

She Said. He Said(Image via Dark Roasted Blend)

Here is the audio version of this post. Thanks so much for listening. Enjoy.
She Said. He Said

One of the biggest opportunities I see for people and businesses to create awesome is communication and managing expectations. Whether it be with our teams, our clients, our partners or our vendors, so much angst and disappointment is caused by a simple lack of communication.

Why am I writing about this? Well, I am in home improvement hell, a place I am all too familiar with, and when I hit a wall, I always take a step back and figure out how things can work better. I am an analyst at heart; of people, of businesses, of systems and processes. I love this shit.

I was also inspired to write about this topic as a few of my clients have been having some bumps in the road with issues surrounding resentful team members, managing expectations and communication. And because my purpose it to help empower the people that I love, this is an area I am passionate about. You can have the best building, artistic techniques, marketing, Facebook page and brochure, but when communications fail and managing expectations goes sideways, so does the business or the relationship.

What does communication and managing expectations mean? Here is my take…

Communication
A two-way sharing of both verbal and non-verbal messages.

Now that sounds pretty easy, right? Well, it’s not. As the quote above says, “the illusion it has taken place.”

Scenario #1
Person One
“You don’t care about me.”

Person Two
“Yes I do.”

Is that communication? Nope. Why? Because Person Two did not really hear what Person One was saying.

Here is another take…
Person One
“You don’t care about me.”

Person Two
“Nina, what I hear you say is that I don’t care about you. And I make up that you are not feeling loved or appreciated by me. What can I do to show you I care?”

Now that my friends, is communication. Both people were heard, both are getting their needs met.

Managing Expectations
Ensuring that the expectations communicated are met. Having full clarity up front as to both parties expectations.

Scenario #1
Person One
“When I interviewed at your salon, you said there would be weekly team gatherings and quarterly education events, neither has happened.”

Person Two
“I never said that. I said sometimes we have team gatherings and education events. I am not sure where you got quarterly from, it’s just not true.”

Ouch!

Here is another take…
Person One
“When I interviewed at your salon, you said there would be weekly team gatherings and quarterly education events, neither has happened.”

Person Two
“What I hear you saying is that connecting weekly and on-going education is very important to you, as is knowing what will be happening consistently within our salon. I hear you, and would like to let you know that we have just put together a calendar that we will be posting in the team lounge. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.”

Can you see the difference? Can you feel the difference? I know I can.

When we think about managing expectations, we must remember that just because we think something, does not mean the other person has the same perspective or understanding.

Scenario #2
Person One
“I know you have been very good to me and care about your staff, but I need more flexibility in my schedule and the ability to earn more money.”

Person Two
“Yes, we all want more money. What about all the benefits we invest in and work tirelessly to give you. I am a bit disappointed in your attitude and lack of gratitude.”

Here is another take…
Person One
“I know you have been very good to me and care about your staff, but I need more flexibility in my schedule and the ability to earn more money.”

Person Two
“I hear that what is most important to you is schedule flexibility and making more money and that the benefits we provide are not as important. Does that sound about right?”

This little shift in dialog can open up a healthy, two-way communication that will resolve the issue, by managing expectations and being open, regardless if the team member decides to stay or not, both parties are clear.

One of the biggest mistakes we make is thinking we have communicated or thinking what is of value to us is of value to others. By simply getting clarity around expectations and communication, life (and home improvement projects) can be so much more awesome, for all parties involved.

Oh, and the home improvement debacle, I realized I did not communicate back what I heard my painter say and did not share my expectations clearly enough. I own it and am working to make it better, with the help of some really awesome friends I have. Am I still pissed off? Absolutely, but mostly at myself for not taking the above actions in the beginning of the project. We live. We learn. Awesome.

(shared with LOVE from Nina)

Awesome businesses

The Execution Dilemma

July 29, 2013Nina KovnerGROW

“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.”

Anthony Robbins

Awesome businesses

Here is the audio version of this post. Thank you for listening. Enjoy.
The Execution Dilemma

While doing the research for this post, I came across some very different takes on the concept of consistency in business. So let me start off by saying this is not about stifling creativity, but crafting a system of thinking, creating and doing that awesome businesses have in common.

When I think about awesome businesses, and I am passionate about studying them and working with them, they all share one thing in common; they are passionate about executing the fundamentals consistently. So what the heck does that mean?

Here are some examples…
Zappos is passionate about consistently executing awesome service and delivering happiness.

Apple is passionate about consistently delivering solutions through design and innovation. They are passionate about thinking different.

Facebook is passionate about consistently executing ways for us to be more connected.

Starbucks is passionate about consistently executing an experience.

Hairbrained is passionate about consistently executing a platform that allows us to share our art (and passion).

Passion Squared is passionate about consistently executing ideas and tools that empower people + businesses.

So what are some fundamentals in the salon biz that we can passionately execute consistently? Here are a few in the marketing, client care and leadership areas…

  • Sharing our brand story & our why

  • Greeting clients at the door

  • Answering the phone (and email)

  • Pre-booking

  • Asking for referrals

  • Professional hair care recommendations

  • Recognition of team members and clients

  • Responding to team members and clients

  • Team meetings

  • Menu’s and brochures

  • Website design and updates

  • Inbox marketing (email)

  • Facebook (or any other social platform) posts, reply’s, responses, design

  • Pricing strategy (products & services)

  • Merchandising and promotion

The list above is certainly not complete, but the point is are you consistently executing your fundamentals?

One of the greatest opportunities I see in our industry is executing the fundamentals consistently. Not stifling creativity, actually quite the opposite. If we can commit ourselves to execution, our creative ideas may actually see the light of day. Small business may actually thrive instead of the continued struggling I see each and every day, wondering why they are not making it happen.

I consistently execute my blog every Monday. While the content (the creativity) changes each week, the fact that I do not miss a week is the point. I consistently execute. And by doing that, I deliver value, meet or exceed expectations of the community and in turn grow my business.

Think about it like fitness and health. If the outcome you desire is having a healthy mind and body, you make a decision to consistently execute the fundamentals; make good food choices and move. While the food and activities change, the fact that you make good food choices and move daily does not.

If you know you are not consistent in executing the fundamentals, then find someone who is and engage them to help you. Whether it’s a coach, a mentor, a friend, a co-worker, a team member, whoever, just get honest and clear as to what you need to make it happen.

There is no secret. If someone is telling you there is, save your time and money and walk away. It’s a lie.

Today I challenge you to take a look at your business fundamentals. How are you doing on the consistency and execution side of things? Can you do better? Think about it. Do you need help? It’s available.

(shared with LOVE from Nina)

Connect

The Long Cut

July 22, 2013Nina KovnerENGAGE, GROW

“’I love being marketed to.’ Said no one, ever.”

Jess3

Connect

Here is the audio for today’s post. Background music by Zen Louis Kovner. Enjoy!
The Long Cut

It’s so tempting today to market “at” people. To shout and scream and try to get attention. To create lots of noise hoping someone will listen. We see it every day. Online or off, many are looking for a short cut. For the quick sale. The fast money. This blog is not for those people.

Today we have an opportunity to engage, connect, create and care like no other time in our history. We can deliver value in the most creative and meaningful ways. We can build relationships, change lives, lift people up and make a difference. Whether we are marketing haircuts or education services, its how we choose to market that can make us a creative contributor.

If you want to create a brand or business that matters, that changes people’s lives for the better and that adds value to the world, you are on the right track. It begins with intention. Doesn’t everything?

The Short Cut
1. Talk at people
2. Scream on social platforms
3. Ignore the community
4. Lead with price
5. Over promise

The Long Cut
1. Listen
2. Engage on social platforms
3. Respond to the community
4. Deliver value
5. Exceed expectations

Which path is your brand or business on?

(shared with LOVE from Nina)

Day One

The Other Layers

July 15, 2013Nina KovnerGROW, MY TRUTH

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”

Brene Brown

 

Day One

Here is the audio version of this post. Thank you for listening. Enjoy.
The Other Layers

We all have layers, and I am not talking of the ones you do on your clients. I’m speaking of the other layers. The layers of truth, struggles, shame and pain.

My journey has been one of many layers and yesterday I began a new journey to peel back a big one that I have struggled with my entire life. I am writing this post in hopes to help others who struggle as I do, to give permission to those who live with this pain, to have the courage to uncover the pain, share their truth, and in hopes empower others to do the same.

This is not about a weight loss journey. The weight is the result of something much deeper. It was that extreme black and white thinking that has kept me from the truth. This is a journey of turning fears into fuel, battling my anxiety and panic disorder, silencing the voices in my head and a very old film reel in my head and heart that needs to be destroyed.

The truth is, I have battled my entire life with self-esteem and body image issues. When I was young, I was weighed in every single day, and I recorded my weight on a little calendar. Every single day. My greatest “accomplishment” in this area was at the peak of my eating disorder. Popping pills every morning and making sure most of the food I did consume ended up where it belonged, in the toilet, as soon as I ate it. Not awesome. Not at all. I have worked too hard on so many areas of my life to allow this one to win.

It amazes me how we can sabotage ourselves so much, and no matter what, we find excuses as to why we cannot peel back the layers. I understand it’s scary, writing this post is scary for me, putting it out for the world to see, admitting that I have a problem, those are all scary things…

Here is part of the story I have been telling myself for years…
1. I am too busy.
2. I have anxiety and panic disorder.
3. I have a slow metabolism.
4. My Dad died and I am sad.
5. I will start tomorrow.
6. Who cares how you look and feel. It’s nobody’s business.
7. It was that medication they put me on 6 years ago, it’s their fault.
8. I have a fractured lower back.
9. I don’t care.

Some of the excuses above are actual realities of my life. But to make them excuses for not living an awesomely authentic life is just lame. We can always find excuses.

The new story I am telling myself…
1. We find time for that which is important.
2. Food, meditation and daily exercise works wonders for anxiety.
3. Fuck the slow metabolism, it can be re-set with food and exercise.
4. It’s perfectly OK to miss my Dad, and I know there is nothing he wants more than for me to win the battle my demons.
5. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
6. It’s not about what others think, see or feel, its about how I think, see and feel.
7. Forgive the doctors who messed with you. Forgiveness is the first step to freedom.
8. Yes, you do have a fractured back, accept it, and take care of yourself so it can get better.
9. I do care.

We all have battles that we fight in silence. Silence for many can be a killer. I have made a decision to no longer be silent. I made this decision because I want to live my truth in order to help others live theirs.

I am so grateful to have people in my life who support my journeys, we all need cheerleaders. But in the end, my battle is between me and me. Isn’t that the truth for all of our internal battles? Yes, it sucks, and it’s painful to face the darkest parts of ourselves. But when we choose to empower ourselves and peel back more layers, when we choose to be vulnerable, we just never know who we may be empowering in the process. And that is a beautiful thing.

(shared with LOVE from Nina)

PS: You can find the super cool Hair Nerd shirt here. It gives you super powers.

Stop The Glorification of Busy

Are You Too Busy?

July 8, 2013Nina KovnerGROW, MY TRUTH

“It is not enough to be busy. The question is: what are we busy about?”

Henry David Thoreau

Stop The Glorification of Busy

Here is the audio version of this post. Thank you for listening. Enjoy.
Are You Too Busy?

Yesterday I woke up to one of my favorite blogs on the planet, The Minimalists. Their post was on the topic of the busy addiction, a topic that is on my mind often these days and is part of my Creating Awesome Workshop. I was so inspired by their post I decided to write about it too.

The Habitrail
Once upon a time, I was too busy. Too busy to pay attention, smell the roses, listen to my heart, see my friends, enjoy the little things, and attend important family functions. I was too busy to breathe. The truth is, it was all a lie.

It was not that I was too busy, I was on the Habitrail, you know, the fun little toy that hamsters and mice play on, yea, that one. I was addicted to the race. Anything to keep me from feeling, living, and thinking. In order to feel alive, I needed more. God forbid I choose to sit still for one second, because if I did, the world will pass me by. And I was on a mission, a mission of external acceptance, other esteeiming, loading up my bank account with money and my life with all the joys of material things. Sounds awesome doesn’t it?

If Its Important, We Find A Way
Today, I see a sad and disturbing trend. People are using the word busy as an excuse to not do the things they do not want to do. Instead of retuning a phone call, email or text, or showing up for a friend or team member, it’s just so easy to say…”I’m sorry, I’ve been so busy.” We all do it. But it’s a lie. We have a choice of how we spend our time, and if its important to us, we will always find a way. Sometimes we just create busyness around us to distract ourselves from ourselves. Can you relate? I know I can.

Busy Or Meaningful?
My life today is so very different that when I was on the Habitrail. As a new business owner, I probably spend more time on my work than ever before. It’s not that I am too busy, I choose to spend my time doing meaningful stuff. And no matter how much time or energy I put in, I am almost never too busy to pick up the phone or return that email or text. I choose to make time time for my friends and family. I choose to make time for things that really matter.

You Are In Charge Of Your To-Do List
Yesterday my friend texted and wanted me to join her for a drink at The Abbey. Now, if you are from LA, you know The Abbey on Sundays is pretty awesome. I found myself coming up with the busy excuse, and then came clean, I was in a little bit of a funk, and not in the mood. Honesty, what a concept. Of course, she totally understood, because she is awesome. Thanks G-Unit, I love you.

Next time you find yourself using the “I am so busy” excuse, how about being honest and just saying, “I choose to use my time for other things”, “You are just not that important to me”, “No thanks”, or “I am not interested”, “I just don’t care”, or “I’m in a funk, so I will pass, but thanks so much for thinking of me.”

It takes courage to be honest. Next time you find yourself using the busy excuse, try telling the truth, first to yourself and then to others. You are in charge of your to-do list. Remember that.

Thank you to The Minimalists for inspiring this post.

(shared with LOVE from Nina)