Passion Squared blog- The Wizard of Social Media (1)

The Wizard Behind The Selfie

August 1, 2016Nina KovnerENGAGE, MY TRUTH

“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!”  L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

In today’s world of online everything, there is so much light and love, but there also can be so much darkness and deception. You see, online we have the ability to present and promote just about anything. And many actually believe what is being presented to them. In so many ways, that can be awesome, but in other ways, it can be debilitating and impact people’s esteem.

What am I talking about? Perspective.

There are millions of images being shown to us each day. Some are real, and some not so much. And my question is… Is that a good thing or a bad thing? And my answer? Both.

The Magical “But I’m Sick” Selfie
Recently, I was asked to provide a head shot for an event. Which normally I would simply email my go-to black and white head shot most of you have seen on my website and social media, taken by my awesome friend Anne Slattery, and one that I did not have much makeup on and for sure no filters. It’s real. Wrinkles and all. And I love it. But this request was for a color head shot, which I did not have, and they needed it within 24 hours. OMG, what the hell was I gonna do?

On that particular day, I was battling a nasty cold, and the last thing I wanted to do is take a damn picture of my snot nose face. But as any awesomeness creator does, we step up and show up. So I put my big girl panties on, scrubbed my face, put on a shit ton of makeup (which I hardly ever do), called in #teamawesome, and said “lets do this”!

Makeup + Ringlights + Filters Oh My!
With packed on makeup, a fake smile (remember, I was sick!), a ring light and a Snapchat filter (the one that removes all trace of any flaws on our faces, which I call the good self esteem filter), we began shooting. About 25 pictures which were mostly selfies. And then I was done. What little energy I had was zapped from my body.

We took those pics and began to filter them even more, using whatever editing apps were going to create the most magic, and like magic, we had our final pic.

I don’t think I have ever received more feedback about the pic we took that day. I mean, it was like I had just finished a shoot for the cover of Vogue. “Nina, you look beautiful. Nina, those lashes. Nina, the light in your eyes, Nina….

And while I was so grateful for those beautiful words, it made me immediately think about the insane pressure we put on ourselves to look “perfect” on social media. To present “perfect”, to edit to “perfect” and to compare to “perfect”. And the fact it, most of what we see is just smoke and mirrors. Like the Wizard. Like my new head shot.

Yes, it’s me. Yes, I know I am beautiful, inside and out. But don’t get it twisted; it is not what I look like everyday. Not even close. I am two months from 50. I have wrinkles. My skin tone is not even. My lashes are extensions. And with a cold, I look even worse. And that is what is real.

Comparison Is The Thief of Joy
Now let me be clear, there is NOTHING wrong with using the awesome tools and technology available to us to present our best self and our best work. It’s awesome, and I love it. BUT, where it becomes dark and destructive is when we believe it’s actually real. Like 100%. And we begin comparing ourselves and our work to what we see on Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat.

In addition to that, please remember that most of the time, people only present what they want you to see. And we make things up in our heads as to what we believe to be true. Follower counts do not equal paying the bills. Pretty head shots do not equal being successful. And beautiful work does not mean you have a full clientele.

My promise as a human and a brand is to always be honest and authentic. Why? Because I am in the empowerment business. And empowerment comes from within. Empowerment comes when we own our awesomeness, wrinkles and all.

So by all means use the lights, the filters, the lashes, the makeup, the apps, all of it. But please, be honest with yourself and others. And stop comparing your behind the scenes to others highlight reels (or selfies, or head shots or work, or claims, or follower counts, or…).

Love + Awesomeness-

Nina xo

PS: Wanna share Snap stories? I’m passionsquared, I would love to connect with you!

Ash Fortis Passion Profile Passion Squared

Passion Profile: Ash Fortis

March 7, 2016Nina KovnerPASSION PROFILE

“It’s not where you take things from – it’s where you take them to.” Jean-Luc Godard


I first met Ash on Instagram, a place I have met so many incredibly passionate and beautiful humans that last few years. But my first face to face experience with her was during a summer vacation on the East Coast visiting family, and again at the Butterfly Circus in Los Angeles. I knew the second I saw Ash, she was something special. Just a few years out of school, Ash is an old soul who feels immensely, and in a business that is all about the feels, Ash is creating a business and life centered around passion and authenticity. I am honored to share a little slice of all that is Ash Fortis.

N: What does passion look & feel like to you?
A: Passion is something that drives you through the trenches. It’s unwavering, it feels like butterflies, fear, trust, and what I relate to as a hair high.

N: Why did you become a hairdresser or educator?
A: I have always been fascinated by hair. And not just one area of hair. I loved the idea of exploring hair and being on the cutting edge of hair trends. After completing the honors program in Cosmetology I went onto an intensive apprenticeship in one of the most amazing hair salons. I learned so much there about both personal and professional growth. I went onto a smaller salon due to several reasons. After 6 months I was let go of from the salon due to changing my hair color from a bold red into a bold blue to purple to pink color melt. I was looking to have more fun with my hair, attract more clients to my chair wanting those looks and it was before vivids had really taken off. I was angry about being let go over hair color and worse how they really felt about it. It crushed me how it was handled, she knew I supported my family on my income alone, I listened as she told me that she didn’t want that type of clientele and basically that the trends were not going to last, that she didn’t want to deal with the headaches of when a client would want them removed. I knew with out another word spoken I would have never agree to work for someone who felt that way because she just insulted me my passion, and my visions for what I wanted to create hair to be. I firmly believed in what I was doing and that I had to find away to have complete freedom.

I found a hair family at G Patton Salon provided me that and my business thrived as an independent hair stylist. More importantly it’s allowed me to balance my family, my health, education and other passions I want to absorb from life. I can’t imagine another way. I am excited to say I am starting a new journey as a business owner with my own suite salon XO Hair Studio in April.

I pursued being an educator about 2 years into my career but until about 4 years ago but almost no doors were open. I get it what could I have to offer with a short resume? They never took the chance to see the potential in me. And the ones that were were not companies I wanted to be apart of. Over the next several years I engulfed myself with researching things I could do and practicing by going back to my hair school to educate or salons in my area that were interested in my techniques and it has grown. My first workshop was $50 and 45 people came and it grows little by little each time I educated. I am still navigating it but my passion fuels each path I take and I trust the journey I am on.

N: What is the biggest challenge you have had and how did you overcome it?
A: I have had a hard time with personal insecurities and wanting to please everyone. I am a very passionate person and I don’t want to dilute or change that which I hold myself responsible to, and what I ultimately look for in others I surround myself with. I look more and more every day to find that circle of people who share in empowering each other.

N: What is the greatest lesson you have learned?
A: That if you change your perspective you can change your life. Things are not always as they seem. Changing my perspective gave me the ability to take control and accountability over my thoughts. It has made me a better person, a forgiving person, it’s humbled me. And I have a lot more free time when I don’t spend my energy where it ought not be spent.

N: What is one skill you believe all successful educators need to have?
A: Engagement. I think anyone considering being an educator need to understand the importance of being a good educator. And honestly there is no road map on how to be one, how to get there or how fast you do it. Be passionate about being an educator and do it with purpose everything else will follow in suit.

N: Why that one?
A: Because to me engagement means education, motivation and inspiration. If you can engage that means you hold the attention of those you educate in front of. And as we know hairstylist especially learn differently and when I educate I want to make sure that not only did I make a difference but that they were able to absorb as much knowledge as possible and I continue to have attendees coming back to my workshops that lets me know that what I am doing is working and making a difference.

N: Why are you so passionate about authenticity and sharing behind the scenes work in the salon with other professionals?
A: I think it’s so important in a world full of unrealistic standards and expectations to be both authentic and raw. Thanks to Pinterest and social platforms a standard of hair has been set for our industry and there were little to no real conversations happening about all the grey areas. I don’t want to set my fellow hairdressers up for failure or myself. So I love sharing how many hours it took, what types of processes, how many sessions, how I share the same struggles that they do as a stylist behind the chair. I have taken off over the last year but there were several things that went into my success and has been a course of actions over the last 5 years. Having had life changing mentors in my life makes me want to pay it forward to those who don’t have anyone to uplift them, to empower them, and to hopefully share my challenges so that can foresee some of those same challenges before they happen.

N: Favorite quote?
A: “Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery – celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from – it’s where you take them to.” Jim Jarmusch 

N: Coffee Bean or Starbucks?
R: Starbucks

A big shout out to Ash for sharing an intimate look into her journey and for being so generous with her art. Love you to the moon and back boo!

You can find Ash on Instagram @xostylistxo on Facebook and be sure to check out her upcoming color workshops.

Love + Awesomeness-
Nina

Zen Louis Kovner

Over You… A Grief Story

September 13, 2015Nina KovnerGROW, MY TRUTH

“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light. Brené Brown

This post was originally written on June 17, 2013, as I was processing the unbearable grief of losing my Dad unexpectedly. Today, on September 14, 2015, over two years later, I felt compelled to share it again, upon losing the best little dude on the planet, my Zen Louis Kovner. Not so ironically, the original audio recording of this post had Zen snoring in the background. Precious moments, as well as reminders, the daily reminders of our lost loved ones are gifts, no matter how much they hurt our hearts. This is for Zen… And my Dad, And for You, and for Me.

I was supposed to write this post yesterday, on Fathers Day. But I found that I just could not focus, or really get out of bed to be honest. I was sad.

The truth is, I have many days like this. I miss my Dad. Fathers Day sucks. It is just a brutal reminder that my Dad is gone.

They say I’ll be OK. I was told the first year it the hardest. Really? It’s been 1 year, 6 months and 5 days. Still not any easier. But thanks for trying.

Our emotions are funny little things. As is the desire of others to try to “make everything better”. Sometimes, we just have to sit in it. To feel it. To accept it. To explore the darkness. For me, its part of the healing process.

This is not about being positive or negative, its about being honest with ourselves about how we really feel. Pretending everything is OK is not real. It’s not honest.

For me, music is medicine, it helps me express my pain, my sadness, my happiness, my joy and serves as a way to express myself, to myself, when things are too crazy to process.

When I first heard the song Over You, Cassadee Pope was singing it on The Voice. I absolutely lost it. It was everything I was feeling and could not express. This past week I must have listened to it 10 times. I needed to express what I was feeling, and was having a hard time. This song seems to do the trick. Instant waterworks and emotion.

I learned the hard way (by hard way I mean a total breakdown and 5 weeks in rehab) that when we do not express our truest authentic self, we begin to die inside. In this world of endless “motivation”, “inspiration” and “positivity”, we do ourselves the greatest disservice by not owning our real emotions. Being sad is OK. Losing a parent sucks. Pretending we are over it sucks even more.

Here are the lyrics to the song that has become my medicine. If you are sad or in pain about losing a loved one, I hope that maybe these lyrics speak to your heart too. It’s OK to not be OK. It’s actually better than OK, it means you are human. And humans feel things.

Over You by Miranda Lambert

“Weather man said it’s gonna snow
By now I should be used to the cold
Mid-February shouldn’t be so scary
It was only December
I still remember the presents, the tree, you and me

But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I’ll be OK
But I’m not going to ever get over you

Living alone here in this place
I think of you, and I’m not afraid
Your favorite records make me feel better
Cause you sing along
With every song
I know you didn’t mean to give them to me

But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I’ll be OK
But I’m not going to ever get over you

It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone

Cause you went away, How dare you? I miss you They say I’ll be OK But I’m not going to ever get over you.”

The greatest gift we can give ourselves and our world is to be our authentic selves. I am not talking about wallowing or being paralyzed by our emotions, I am talking about feeling them, acknowledging they are real, processing them and coming out on the other side empowered, and forever changed.

Love + Gratitude-
Nina

3 Ingredients of An Awesome Social Post

3 Ingredients of An Awesome Social Post

June 1, 2015Nina KovnerENGAGE, GROW

“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.”  May Sarton

Here is the audio version of this post. Thank you for listening.

Whether it’s an Instagram shot, a Facebook post, a YouTube video or a blog, there are a few key ingredients to making whatever story you are telling awesome!

1. Make it Relevant
When people choose to follow us, it is because they have decided there is something of value we have that they want. We must take those follows seriously, and stay focused on delivering the value they came for. That means keeping our content and stories relevant. Focus on value. How are you delivering value?

Example: As Passion Squared, people do not come to me for technical cutting skills or workouts (lol) no, they come to me for information on business, career, personal development and empowerment. Thus, my storytelling and content remain relevant to that which my community desires.

2. Make it Human
This is probably where most get stuck, and in working with my clients and A School coaching groups, it is by far the biggest obstacle. “I don’t know what to post” is what I hear most often. This is a symptom of two things… One is you are not yet clear on your brand story, thus you have no clear content plan. So always start there. What does your community value? What is your brand story? Connect those two dots and you are on your way. Number two is, you are trying WAY too hard. Social means just that, social, so be social. Be human. Keep it real. Keep it authentic. Keep it conversational. Keep it consistent. People will respond. I promise.

Example: I post pics of my dogs all the time; they are part of my brand story. However, one day, I chose to not only post a pic of my rescue Faith, but also tell the very personal and human story as to why I named her Faith. It was the most liked dog pic I have ever posted. Get it? Good!

3. Make it Visual
And by visual, I mean awesome visuals. Graphics. Clean. Clear. Awesome. As the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words. If you don’t know how to make things visually awesome, practice. Take 10 photos for every post, make sure the lighting is good, background clean, subject awesome. Practice. Practice. Practice. If you are making word graphics, there are a ton of apps and tools to make that happen. I love Canva.com and WordSwag, just to name a couple.

Example: I wrote a blog post a few weeks back about 5 lessons I learned from my beauty school experience. It was recently shared on a major beauty industry distributor Facebook page, and went NUTS! And by nuts I mean over 1000 clicks. Why? It was relevant, #1, it was visual, it featured a picture from 1987 of me, in beauty school, lol. And once people clicked, it was most definitely human.

So now it’s your turn. Take a look at your social content, and use this list as a way to measure your current content. It is stacking up? Are you getting the engagement you wish? This is a good place to start.

Love + Awesomeness-

Nina

Generation WHY

GENERATION WHY

April 20, 2015Nina KovnerGROW

Before you go and criticize the younger generation, just remember who raised them. Unknown

Here is the audio version of this post. It’s like me reading you a bedtime story. Thank you for listening.

This post was first created, from my heart, on June 10, 2013. Nearly two years later, it could not be more relevant. As I listen and observe the professional beauty biz, I continue to hear frustrated new professionals not always clear on what to do or where to go to find love + support, and equally, frustrated salon owners unsure + unclear how the heck to connect with what I call Generation WHY.

And as I wrote in June of 2013, this is a forever issue. Always blaming the next generation for things, and simply not understanding them. This is one of many reasons I am launching a new program A School for New Professionals on May 1 2015, to do what I do best and provide a place to help new professionals navigate their new career. Already having my A School for Owners, I see this as the almost perfect marriage and one that is desperately needed in the pro beauty biz. #excited

Original Post from June 10, 2013
It’s always the same it seems, the older generation, no matter which it is, is always somewhat down on the next generation. Whether it be the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, etc. There is always something people find wrong or irritating.

Is it that we lose perspective over time? That we get cranky and tired as we age? I am not a history expert, but I am a human who pays attention, so here is my take and some things to consider when generation bashing or trying to be an awesome leader of future generations.

Gary Vee, one of my biz heroes posted a quote to his Facebook page a few months back and it really resonated with me, Gary said…“We’ve just gotten smarter and realized that 22 year olds have more value than just getting you coffee”.

Here is what I know about the WHY generation…
1. They value purpose and meaning, not just a job or paycheck.

2. They want to know WHY, and “because I said so” does not fly.

3. They want leaders and mentors to tell them what’s possible, not what’s not possible.

4. They crave authenticity and relationships, in work and in life.

5. They are not waiting for our permission to dream or do important work.

I hear so often how challenged many are working with the younger generation. How they are afraid of hard work and want everything yesterday. I disagree. I work with young people everyday, and have successfully led these kids and helped them do big things. I love the youth. I love their passion, their hope and their courage to take the road less traveled.

Here are some things we can do to help lift up the next generation.
1. Be honest with them.

2. Share our wisdom.

3. Listen to them.

4. Create a vision of possibilities for them.

5. Love them.

It’s really quite simple, but not at all easy to take the time to understand the people we lead. But that is what leadership is about. It’s about perspective, understanding, vision, lifting others up and creating an environment for our teams to shine.

Of course, there is an alternative, you could just stay angry. Have fun with that.

(shared with LOVE from Nina)