“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Unknown origin
This may be the most honest blog I have ever written, and as promised, here is my experience from my 28 day clean eating challenge. While I choose to share a lot of my life experiences, one area I have not talked about often is my life long battle with eating disorders. From the age of 12, I was forced onto the scale for my morning weigh in, and that quickly turned into a daily recording of my weight, which catapulted into anorexia, bulimia, as well as taking insane amounts of amphetamines and laxatives, all before I graduated high school.
You see, self worth, esteem and love have never come easy to me. The reasons are unimportant, that is for me and my therapist to sort, but what is important is the understanding that we all are walking through life with old beliefs, fears, and stories we tell ourselves about who we are, what we are and why we are.
So when I was approached by a dear friend to try something new, I was scared. This was not about the extra weight I have been carrying for the last several years, no, it was about the what if… what if I fall back into my old behaviors, what if I fail, what if I can’t, what if… And eventually, I said screw the what if’s, I need to do this.
My Why
Why did I say yes this time? Several reasons, but mostly because I had a major health scare at the exact time I was losing my sweet baby Zen to cancer. Around that same time, I had a family member with a very similar health scare, but in this case, it was not a scare, it was real. Hello universe, I can hear you.
Lastly, and probably the most motivating factor, was that I am in the empowerment business. And I pride myself on walking my talk, and being my true authentic self, and that fact was, I was broken and feeling, well, not empowered. So how the heck can I help others if I am not helping myself? That was the last straw. As the great Friedrich Nietzsche said, “he who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
Here are 7 of the many lessons I learned on this 28-day clean eating challenge…
1. When you are ready, you are ready, and not a moment sooner.
It’s really not about the program, the outfit, the timing, the Fitbit, the app, the shoes, the deal, whatever. No, it’s about when we are ready, and not a moment sooner. Bummer, I know, I was really hoping just wearing my Fitbit would make me stronger. #not
2. Desperation is sometimes the only thing that will motivate us.
We are all motivated by different things; this is both a personal lesson and a leadership lesson. And sometimes desperation helps. For some it may not, but being aware of what motivates us, and others if we are a leader, matters.
3. We are not the old stories we tell ourselves.
OMG if we could all just erase those old tapes we play, man, would life be different. But that is not how it works. So whatever you need to do to calm that self talk, do it. Whether its meditation, breath work, therapy, affirmations, espresso shots, dancing, playing on Snapchat, whatever, until we learn how to become present and shut those voices out, we will live in a perpetual state of self sabotage.
4. Clean eating is not easily accessible to all. Easily is the key word.
Now I know this is going to be controversial, and I am ONLY speaking of my experience. Part of my clean eating challenge was a Facebook Group, and while I did not engage often, (I’m not a joiner), I did see how many struggled with finding “organic” foods and other things the people in metro areas had access to i.e. Whole Foods, Trader Joes, Sprouts, etc. And while some things are available on the Internet, it just was not easy for many. Being in So Cal, I have access to all the best stores, and can get fresh avo’s and berries all day long, at a fairly affordable price. And let’s not forget, the cost. Organic is generally more expensive, and I did spend more money on food than I ever have. Again, its not impossible to eat clean, not at all, it’s just not easy. It takes focus, mindfulness, creativity, and a budget. And for those of us who are not so awesome in the kitchen, there is no doubt it’s a bit more difficult. And that is the truth. Again, not easy, but possible.
5. Trust your gut, literally.
There were certain things I was asked to do that I did not. First was weighing myself and taking measurements. Nope. Not gonna do it. Why? Its not healthy for me to do so given my history of eating disorders. I trust my gut. It knows if it feels good. I was asked to remove caffeine from my diet. Nope. Never. Gonna. Happen. I’m not addicted to caffeine, I had to go without it for 35 days in rehab, no problem, but I enjoy my morning espresso, and have no desire to remove it from my life. Lastly, there was a portion of the program that required a certain drink to take daily, upon looking at the ingredients; I determined it was not healthy for me, so I declined. Again, your body knows. Be open, but be sure everything passes your own gut check.
6. It’s not about the product or program, its about willingness and action.
Willingness to take action is the bottom line when making any change, in business and in life. And while some programs or products may be better than others, at the end of the day, it all comes down to our decision to take action. Always.
7. Perfectionism leads to guaranteed self sabotage
OMG, if I said this a million times, I could not say it enough. The idea that we are supposed to be this vision of perfect that we have in our heads is probably the biggest thing that holds us back. I was asked early in the challenge if I had “cheated”. That right there is the trap. Cheated? What does that mean? You mean eaten or drank something not on the “approved list”? Who cares! We are not here to be perfect, we are here to be awesome, and whatever that means to you, go for it! Create your own rules, let your conscious be your guide, you know you the best.
Many have asked me what program I was on. Here’s the thing. As I mentioned in Lesson 6, it’s not about the product or program, and I do not recommend or endorse any program, cause that would be super subjective, nor am I qualified in that area, so it would merely be my opinion. And even with that, there are so many factors. But here is what I will do. I will tell you that it was that ONE person who approached me at the right time, held out her hand, and gifted me this program. It was her passion for what she believed in and my belief in her that was a big part of me saying yes. If you would like to learn more about the program I was on, please contact my dear friend Meghan.
And there you have it. Twenty-eight days of lessons. How do I feel? Awesome, clear, focused, strong and a tad bit hungry! Have I stayed on the program? Yes and NO. I have pretty much eaten a loaf of bread and a pound of butter since it ended. But I am holding onto the things that I learned about myself, which foods make me feel strong and which make me feel off, and I will continue on my journey of empowerment, grateful for the awesome days, and the not so awesome days. Learning each day how to best fuel my mind, body and spirit.
And a big shout out of gratitude to my girl Meghan, for showing up when I was ready, and not a moment sooner. And to all my family, friends and community for cheering me on every step of the way. Trust, I could not have done it without you, kinda like biz and life, having you on this journey matters a shit ton to me. Thank you.
Love + Awesomeness-
Nina
NOTE: While I was not paid or required to write this blog, I was gifted a 28 day program. Our agreement was if I was inspired to share my experience, I would. This is totally my choice in sharing my experience and in no way an endorsement or recommendation of any product or program. #transparency #authenticity