Passion Squared Lessons from Dad Blog Header

5 Awesome Life Lessons From My Dad

June 6, 2016Nina KovnerHEROES, MY TRUTH

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway. -Mother Teresa

The above passage from Mother Teresa was my Dad’s favorite. With Father’s Day around the corner, the loss of my Dad almost 5 years ago feels just as painful as the day we said goodbye to him. I think of him every single day. There is always something there to remind me (cue Naked Eyes song).

There are so many mentors and heroes in our lives that we have all learned something from, and as this world moves faster and faster, it feels good to create space and reflect on those lessons. As the wisdom that had been gifted to us can help continue to guide our journeys, even when those people have left us.

Dads Awesome Life Lessons

  1. Stand up for what you believe in, even when it’s unpopular.
  2. Humor is an awesome way to connect + make people feel more comfortable.
  3. It’s OK to keep your circle small; spend your time with those you love.
  4. We can agree to disagree. Where there is mutual respect, there is always love.
  5. Compassion above all else. Always.

My Dad was one of the most compassionate humans I have ever known. And it all makes sense, he chose being a doctor as his life’s work. He healed people, using both his brain, his wisdom and most importantly his heart.

And here’s the thing, we had our moments, really tough ones in fact, as all families and relationships do. But I do not regret a second of it. And most importantly, I spent every waking moment with him I could. Each one of those moments is forever tattooed on my heart. And while I wish to God he was here right now, I can say, with my whole heart, that I am the person I am today because of the gifts my Dad gave me.

No matter what is happening with your family relationships at this moment, ask yourself this one thing… If they were gone tomorrow, would you wish you would have said or done something differently? If the answer is yes, please, I beg you, go do that thing. Then, when the time comes that they move into the other world, you will be able to smile, like I am right now, through all the tears, knowing you did not let a moment pass or a word left unsaid.

To all the awesome Dads reading this, Happy Fathers Day. For all those who have lost their Dad, I am sending you an extra dose of love.

Miss you Daddy. Happy Fathers Day in heaven.

Love + Gratitude-

Nina

PS: If you want to read more about my awesome Dad, you can Google Dr. Victor L. Kovner. He was quite a bad ass on so many levels.

Richelle Brigola Blog Header

A School Stories: Richelle Brigola

May 30, 2016Nina KovnerA School Stories, GROW

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. My Mom

This A School Story begins with a little bit of history; I have known Richelle since high school. How? We both went to Dana Hills High School in Dana Point and graduated together in the Class of ’84. Richelle and I reconnected (yes, 30th!) at our 30th high school reunion last year, and that is when I learned she had created an awesome life in the world of hair. What a gift it is to work with such a cool human that I have so much history with. Love how the world works. I am beyond thrilled to share Richelle’s story with you…

N. What does passion look and feel like to you?
R. Passion to me looks and feels like that moment when you create an amazing piece of work on a salon guest and think to yourself “Damn!  I can’t believe I did THAT!”.  It’s going to bed at night thinking about what you will be creating the next day in the salon.  It’s waking up psyched to put plans into motion.  It’s realizing that you are looking at everyone’s hair, make up, clothing and in your head you’re giving them a make over.  It’s a constant buzz that doesn’t stop.

N. Why did you join A School?
R. I joined A School out of curiosity… I re-met Nina at our high school reunion.  She told me about Passion Squared, I checked it out, it sounded interesting and I signed up.  It’s probably the best business decision I have made!

N. What have you learned on your journey in A School?
R. My journey with A School has been more than just a learning experience…  A School has given me the confidence and tools to believe in myself and to trust the process. A School has made me feel part of a larger community of caring and supportive individuals.  I have learned not to compare myself, my salon, or work to others.  My journey is my own and it is okay to walk a different path.

N. Why did you become an owner?
R. I became an owner out of necessity… the salon that I was working at was falling apart.  The owner was dealing with some major personal issues which the affected the vibe and community of the salon.  It was never my goal, but I am happy how things have worked out.  I am fortunate to have found a small studio and I have three awesome stylists working with me as independent contractors.

N. What is your biggest lesson so far being an owner?
R. My biggest lesson so far as an owner is sometimes you have to put on the big girl panties and they’re not always comfortable!

N. How do you handle difficult situations with clients or team members?
R. In dealing with difficult clients or team members I try hard to take my ego out of the equation, take a step back and view the situation from the other person’s point of view.  It also helps me to let a little time pass so that I am not reacting. This way,  I can take the time to analyze the situation.  I will admit that I do not do well with conflict. If I am able to make it go away quickly and easily,  I will!  That is not always a good strategy and I am working on that.

N. What ONE tool would you say is the most effective in marketing your business and why?
R. The one tool that is most effective in marketing my business is still word of mouth.  I do post my work on Instagram and Facebook and my clients love seeing themselves or their friends on social media.  I think this helps drive the referrals.

N. Where does your inspiration come from?
R. My inspiration comes from my Mom.  She owned salons during most of my childhood and was a nail tech who developed her own acrylic line.  Interestingly enough, she was a salon owner and doing nails before California required nail techs to be licensed. Sadly, she is no longer able to work in the beauty industry due to health reasons.  I have learned from her the value of believing in one’s self and to take chances… you never know where it will lead you.

N. How do you practice self-care?
R. Practicing self care is just that, practicing… I try very hard to attend CrossFit three times a week, walk the family dog with my husband in the evenings and have regular massage appointments.  I also have started scheduling lunch breaks when I am working.  These things don’t always happen because some days or weeks it’s too crazy busy and that’s okay.

N. Coffee Bean or Starbucks?
R. Starbucks!

N. Favorite quote?
R.”If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” -My Mom

You can find Solo Capelli Salon and Studio Line on Instagram and Facebook!

A big shout out of love + gratitude to Richelle for sharing her story with us. I just love how the universe works and how we have been brought back together, so grateful to be on this journey with you!

Love + Awesomeness-
Nina

If you are a creative small biz owner in the pro beauty world and looking for a ton of love, support and help with creating an awesome biz + life, A School may be a good fit for you.

#QandAwesome Overwhelm + Excuses

May 27, 2016Nina Kovner#QandAwesome, GROW

In this episode of #QandAwesome I answer a question about overwhelm and excuses. As small business owners, the most important thing we can do is get to the root cause of it, whether it be learning to say no to create more space or busting through fear. Either way, it’s no excuse to not follow your heart and be happy. Thanks so much for watching! Nina xo

#QandAwesome Do You Need A Blog?

May 9, 2016Nina Kovner#QandAwesome, ENGAGE

In this episode of #QandAwesome, I share some thoughts on how to decide if you “should” blog. Let’s be clear, it’s not about should anything, its about how you can deliver value and in what form will you choose to do that. Thank you so much for watching!

 

Its All In Your Head Passion Squared

It’s All In Your Head: My Truth About Anxiety

May 6, 2016Nina KovnerGROW, MY TRUTH

“I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.” Steve Maraboli

(this post was originally published on February 10, 2014. I have gotten so many requests recently to discuss the topic of anxiety I chose to update it today)

Anxiety sucks. And its real. It can rob of us so much joy. It can paralyze us and isolate us. I am continually asked about this topic as I have shared openly that I live with anxiety and panic disorder, and on Saturday, a beautiful member of the Passion Squared community asked that I share some ways that I have been able to deal with it.

First and foremost, I am not a doctor. Duh. But I am in treatment and continue to battle this crippling condition, successfully (most of the time), thus, my ability to speak on the topic from MY experience.

Lets begin with the definition of generalized anxiety disorder explained by The National Institute of Mental Health…

“All of us worry about things like health, money, or family problems. But people with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) are extremely worried about these and many other things, even when there is little or no reason to worry about them. They are very anxious about just getting through the day. They think things will always go badly. At times, worrying keeps people with GAD from doing everyday tasks.”

So yes, it is all in our head, and for us, the fear and worry are very real.

The following are the ways that I treat my anxiety today…

1. Therapy
I consistently see a therapist. Knowing that I have a mental disorder, I have accepted that one of the best ways to keep my head straight is to treat it. When we have a physical health issue, we see a doctor. Mental health is no different.

2. Eating + Exercise
One of the best pieces of advice I was given that works for me was about keeping my blood sugar regulated, meaning, eating some type of protein every 3-4 hours. In addition to that, I am very mindful of how much I mix caffeine and sugar. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE espresso and drink it every morning. But I do not drink Venti Iced Mochas (sugar mixed with caffeine). Now on the exercise front, it works. And while I am not yet to the point where I do it consistently, when I do, my anxiety is greatly reduced.

3. Vitamin B
Again, I am not a doctor and am not saying what works for me will work for you, but keeping loaded up on B vitamins has absolutely helped me. And when I am not staying loaded up on B’s, I can feel the difference.

4. Music
Whenever I am absolutely freaking out, I throw in my ear buds and listen to meditation music, Zen type stuff. It seems to really help calm down my heart rate. At the same time, if I am getting ready to present in front of an audience and cannot catch my breath, which is often, I will listen to my fave hip hop song, it seems to work for me as well.

5. Gratitude + Meditation + Prayer
One of the things I have learned about anxiety is that it can go from bad and to worse the more we focus on it and all the things we are fearful of. When I make my gratitude list, for just that moment, I get out of my head. It works. Same goes for meditation and prayer. Now, I am not religious, but I do my own kind of prayer. The meditation thing, I do by listening to meditation music as mentioned in #4.

6. Take A Walk
I know, I get so angry when people are like…”Just take a walk, you will feel better.” OMG, do you have any idea what I am going thorough right now? But in all seriousness, removing myself from the current environment, just for a few moments, helps. So if you are at work, walk outside. At home, move to another room. Anything you can do to change your environment can help.

7. Give Someone A Hand
This is a big one. The more we focus on our fears, the more fearful and anxious we become. So again, like the gratitude list, its good to get out of our own heads. Helping someone out, a co-worker, a boss, a friend or neighbor helps me get out of my head, and move past the anxiety I am feeling in that moment.

8. Medication
Now again, I am NOT A DOCTOR. I am only speaking from my experience and plead with you to go back to point 1, see a mental health professional and together, decide what the best treatment for you is. I have chosen not to be consistently medicated. Reason being, I tried, and I had disastrous results. My choice has been to work my ass off to battle this disorder the most natural way I can. However, I do have a prescription for a medication that I take ONLY when I am in a serious and debilitating attack. I am proud to say, I only have to take this 1-2 times a month, at most. And it is always a last resort for me.

9. Healthy Boundaries + Creating Space
Last but not least, I have created a space of peace and calm in my world. I have removed toxic people, toxic places, and most toxic things. I have sacrificed a lot to do this, but as an adult, I get to choose. And so do you. This could mean saying NO more, pairing down that to-so list, removing projects that are overwhelming you, staying offline from time to time, etc. It is a choice. As hard as that is to grasp.

Living with anxiety blows but we do have a choice of how we are going to let it control our lives. And like anything worth having in life, it takes work.

A big shout out of love + gratitude to Duke Strange, who inspired this post.

If you are looking for some daily inspiration and help with keeping you on track, sign up for my Love Notes Daily, one of the most loved services I offer.

Love + Awesomeness-
Nina