Until You Consider

February 3, 2014Nina KovnerMY TRUTH

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it. – To Kill A Mockingbird

 Here is the audio version of this post. Thank you so much for listening.

As I opened up the TMZ app Sunday morning, my heart sank, another beloved celebrity, another drug overdose.  Then comes all the voices on the internet, some singing praises and sadness, many passing judgement. It happens. Every time. And every time. I sit in horror and sadness.

I never knew Philip Seymour Hoffman, or Cory Monteith, or Chris Farley or many of the millions of souls who lives are taken by drugs, or mental illness.

What I do know, however, all too well, is my own battle and the battles of my loved ones.

Suicide resides on both sides of my family as does addiction.  I have sat by the bedside of loved ones as they survived their 3rd heroin OD in as many years.

I have come close to taking my own life, twice, and have battled with addiction in many forms. So you bet I understand. And I have immense compassion.

Its time to get serious about mental health. Its time to acknowledge that so many of our problems as a society stem from not addressing mental health issues. Homelessness, mass shootings, crime, prison overcrowding, overdoses and suicides, so much of it stems from mental health.

Until you have climbed into my skin, you may never really know what it feels like to be in so much pain that dying seems like the best solution. Until you have climbed into the skin of a heroin addict or a schizophrenic, or someone who is bi polar, you will never fully understand. But instead of judging and blaming, how about become part of the solution.

You see, one of the most tragic things about mental health is we struggle in silence. We don’t have a disease that people rally around and raise money for. No, we are the forgotten ones until a famous person tragically shows up in the news. Then one 24 hour news cycle later, we are forgotten again.

What can we do? Get educated. Show some compassion. Listen. Stop judging. Talk about it. Lift the stigma.

Just like any movement, the more people that become aware, the more conversations we have, the more we can bring about change.

While there are many quality facilities that offer help, there are not enough. We can do better. For ourselves, our families, our friends, our co-workers and our communities.

This is not about politics, its about life.

(shared with LOVE from Nina)

My tribe

The Tribe

January 27, 2014Nina KovnerENGAGE, GROW

“A group needs only two things to be a tribe: a shared interest and a way to communicate.”

Seth Godin

 

My tribePictured: Erin + Carrie of The Hair Nerds, Josh XO and Douglas McCoy of The House of POp

Here is the audio version of this post. Thanks so much for listening. Enjoy.

As I write this post, I am preparing for the ISSE show, which is, if you don’t know, the kick-off of the annual hair show season for hairdressers. And it’s pretty awesome.

One of the most exciting parts of this weekend, is connecting with my tribe, offline. What is even more amazing to me, is that most of my tribe I have only met in the last 1 1/2 years. Ahhhhh, the power of the social web. Shared interests and empowering platforms such as Hairbrained, Facebook, Instagram and blogs like The Hair Nerds brought us together. And now, you cannot keep us apart.

So many people complain that social platforms are making us less connected, I say, it is what you make it. This goes for both our business and private lives. We can see these platforms as empowering connectors, or time sucks. The choice is ours.

Where the real magic happens, is when those online relationships go offline. Because in the end, we all crave good ol’ fashion face to face connection and a sense of belonging. There is nothing like a big, tight hug from someone you admire and respect. It just seems to make everything better.

If  you are one who is not sold on social and how it can empower your business, I challenge you to take a step back and think about how you are using the Internet. Are you using it as a tool to build relationships? To engage and provide value? Because in the end, that is why we are here. To connect, to share, to love, to provide value and to serve.

I hope to see you online or on the road. And give you a big hug.

(shared with LOVE from Nina)

Just Ship It

January 20, 2014Nina KovnerGROW, MY TRUTH

You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do. -Henry Ford

Here is the audio version of this post. Thanks so much for listening.

How many great biz ideas do you have right now that you have not taken action on? How many times have you talked about doing something awesome and never followed through?

Many of us can relate to the questions above, and its what I call a shipping problem.

You see, we can have all the most awesome ideas in the world, but unless we “ship” them, launch them, initiate them; they are just awesome ideas that will never have any impact on our business or the world.

If you find yourself unable to ship, there may be a few things happening that you need to explore.

Are you afraid?
Do you not have the resources or knowledge?
Do you have too much on your to-do list?
Are you a perfectionist?

All of these things are real and worth exploring, but not always an excuse to not ship your idea.  Now I’m not talking about a $100K remodel, I am talking about ideas, programs, products or services that can bring value to your world and help grow your biz.

Typically, what I have found working with my clients and community, is it is all four that stop so many from creating awesome. So lets break it down.

Fear
Most of us fear failure to some degree. But if we are going to ever create awesome, we have to use that fear as creative fuel, bust through, and do it anyway. It’s takes a TON of courage to create stuff. And even more courage to launch and ship it.

Resources + Knowledge
In today’s world, there are a gazillion resources at our fingertips as well as information to help us ship our idea. We just have to want it bad enough to find those resources and knowledge.

The To-Do List
In order to do important things; we have to let go of our obsession with the to-do list. If we get really honest with ourselves, most of the stuff on that list can be deleted, moved or delegated.

Perfectionism
Is deadly. The idea that something is ever going to be perfect enough is one of the most dangerous thoughts we have. Why? It can prevent us from doing just about anything. And guess what? It’s never going to be perfect. Ever. Its not meant to be perfect and neither are we.

I wrote my new book, Follow Your Heart, on January 1, 2013. I sat on it for almost 9 months. Why? Fear, my perceived lack of resources, knowledge and my to-do list.  I have long lost the need for anything to be perfect, however, this did creep into my head when I recorded the audio version of the book. For real’s. Upon listening to the book, I began to judge its contents, to the degree that I had to stop listening or I probably would not have shipped.

As I prepare to finally release my book into the universe on January 26th, I see how I was 100% responsible for not shipping. Regret? Never. But what an incredible lesson it was for me, to always remember to look in the mirror, and realize my ability to create awesome and ship awesome is my choice.

(shared with LOVE from Nina)

Another Brick In The Wall

January 13, 2014Nina KovnerGROW, MY TRUTH

The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. – Randy Pausch

Starting, creating, owning and running a small business is not for the faint of heart. It seems almost everyday I witness hopeful, bright-eyed future entrepreneurs “start” a business. And sadly, I see almost as many crash and burn, give up or walk away.

We have all heard the saying, if it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Truer words have never been spoken.

The last few years have been some of the most difficult of my life, yet some of the happiest and most rewarding.  It seems everyday, there are more bricks, or what seems like boulders in my way.

If you are thinking about becoming a small business owner, of living your dream, here are some of my AHAS the last couple years that may be helpful for you to decide whether you want to venture into ownership.

This is not a list of how to determine if you are meant to be a biz owner, that is a different blog, I am talking about deep in your heart and soul, are you ready to do whatever it takes.

1. Are you courageous enough to stick it through, even in the worst times?

2. Are you comfortable with being insanely uncomfortable?

3. What are you willing to sacrifice?

4. Are you strong enough to bust through the bricks and obstacles that will be placed in your way?

5. Are you committed to consistently, day after day, building your dream, and not just when you feel like it?

Why am I sharing this with you? I work with small business owners every day. I am a small business owner and many times I am accused of being overly positive and optimistic.

I do choose to see the best in everything. It is a daily choice. However, that does not mean I do not have struggles. I do. Every single day.

On any given day during the week, this is what happens in my world…

“OMG what the hell am I doing” pops into my head, more often than I care to admit, but am now.
I cry. A lot.
I get stuck.
I stare into space.
I get scared.
I get insecure.
I am overly critical about my work, this blog included.

And what I have come to learn is that all of that is normal. Well, normal for someone who is passionate and ballsy enough to take the road less traveled.

The bricks are there for a reason. We can either see them as an obstacle or a gift. The gift being, each time we break through, we become stronger and more courageous.

And that is the gift. Courage. To live our purpose. Because when we do, we are giving the world and ourselves the greatest gift of all. Our happiness.

(shared with LOVE from Nina)

Until We Truly Believe…

January 6, 2014Nina KovnerGROW, MY TRUTH

I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself. – Rita Mae Brown

Here is the audio version of this post. Thank you so much for listening. Enjoy.

It’s that week, you know, the week where we either kept our resolutions or have already begun to shame ourselves because we did not. For me, resolutions are some of the most harmful processes we bring entirely onto ourselves. Why? Don’t we already beat ourselves up enough?

Here’s the deal. Until we really, deep down, inside our souls believe we deserve to achieve awesomeness, however we define it, in business and in life, we will just keep hitting a wall and feeling bad about ourselves.

Think about it. We make a resolution to lose weight. We join the gym, get the outfit, mark it on our calendars, write it down, hang up things on the fridge, then go. Day one, awesome. Day two, ever more awesome. Day three. Ugh. Its cold outside. I have to get to a meeting. I overslept. The list goes on. Why does this happen? Because we skipped the most important part? The inside work. The work on breaking free from self sabotage. The self-love part. The hard stuff.

Just because society says that we are to set goals or resolutions a certain way does not mean it is right for all of us. The more we conform to others ways of doing things, the more we may find that we keep hitting a wall and feeling bad about ourselves.

Now this applies to business as well. To me, there is no difference. Business is made up of humans. We all bring our issues, esteem, perspectives into work everyday. As business owners, the same applies. You know if you implement that referral program, and consistently manage and promote it, you will get new clients. But you begin strong, and a month later, it’s almost completely forgotten. Why? It’s just another form of self sabotage, in this case, for whatever reason, being in fear or feeling not deserving of an awesome business.

We go through life being taught all sorts of tactics, strategies, systems and ways of living. We are told you should do this. And we try, attempt, give it our best, and yet, things many times just seem like they are just not right.

If we want to create awesome in life and live our dreams, it all begins with believing we deserve it. It begins with falling in love with the most important person on the planet, ourselves.

Here are some ways that I work on my insides, if any of these resonate, you may want to give them a try…

1. Read The Daily Love blog every morning.
This helps get my head focused on self-love first thing in the morning.

2. See my therapist every two weeks.
This is my medicine for keeping my mind right.

3. Daily gratitude lists.
This process, which I have written about several times, puts things in perspective for me, and gives me energy to keep creating awesome.

4. Connecting and helping people every day.
For me, the more I reach out and help people, the better I feel inside. The better I feel inside, the more awesome I tend to create.

5. Write.
For me, writing is therapeutic. Now let me get something clear, writing this blog is not easy, but I always feel better after getting what’s in my head on paper. For some it may be journaling or vision boarding, or creating any form of art. What’s most important here is that we allow ourselves to express our creativity one way or another.

6. Get some form of exercise.
Now, this is the toughest one for me, as I am still in the process of truly believing I deserve to be healthy. I know, sounds inane, but maybe you can relate. But I swear, on the days I do Pilates, my mind is more clear and my heart is more calm, and that allows me to create more awesome.

If resolutions work for you, awesome. If you are one of the millions, like me, who they don’t work for, try taking a few steps back and begin falling in love with your insides. Feel your fears, use them as creative fuel. Stop beating yourself up and shaming yourself, or allowing yourself to be shamed by society for not conforming. It’s time to begin creating your own kind of awesome. Now that is a resolution worth keeping.

Do you have a process for working on your insides? Want to share it to help empower others? Leave your comments below or send me a love note, I’m listening.

(shared with LOVE from Nina)