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5 Awesome Life Lessons From My Dad

June 6, 2016Nina KovnerHEROES, MY TRUTH

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway. -Mother Teresa

The above passage from Mother Teresa was my Dad’s favorite. With Father’s Day around the corner, the loss of my Dad almost 5 years ago feels just as painful as the day we said goodbye to him. I think of him every single day. There is always something there to remind me (cue Naked Eyes song).

There are so many mentors and heroes in our lives that we have all learned something from, and as this world moves faster and faster, it feels good to create space and reflect on those lessons. As the wisdom that had been gifted to us can help continue to guide our journeys, even when those people have left us.

Dads Awesome Life Lessons

  1. Stand up for what you believe in, even when it’s unpopular.
  2. Humor is an awesome way to connect + make people feel more comfortable.
  3. It’s OK to keep your circle small; spend your time with those you love.
  4. We can agree to disagree. Where there is mutual respect, there is always love.
  5. Compassion above all else. Always.

My Dad was one of the most compassionate humans I have ever known. And it all makes sense, he chose being a doctor as his life’s work. He healed people, using both his brain, his wisdom and most importantly his heart.

And here’s the thing, we had our moments, really tough ones in fact, as all families and relationships do. But I do not regret a second of it. And most importantly, I spent every waking moment with him I could. Each one of those moments is forever tattooed on my heart. And while I wish to God he was here right now, I can say, with my whole heart, that I am the person I am today because of the gifts my Dad gave me.

No matter what is happening with your family relationships at this moment, ask yourself this one thing… If they were gone tomorrow, would you wish you would have said or done something differently? If the answer is yes, please, I beg you, go do that thing. Then, when the time comes that they move into the other world, you will be able to smile, like I am right now, through all the tears, knowing you did not let a moment pass or a word left unsaid.

To all the awesome Dads reading this, Happy Fathers Day. For all those who have lost their Dad, I am sending you an extra dose of love.

Miss you Daddy. Happy Fathers Day in heaven.

Love + Gratitude-

Nina

PS: If you want to read more about my awesome Dad, you can Google Dr. Victor L. Kovner. He was quite a bad ass on so many levels.

Can You Hear Me?

December 8, 2014Nina KovnerGROW, MY TRUTH

“The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard.”

William Hazlitt

 

Bed In via Wikipedia

(image via Wikipedia)

Here is the audio version of this post. Thank you so much for listening.

The fifth Chakra, known as the throat Chakra, is associated with speaking and expression.

Now you might be thinking, what the hell is Nina doing talking Chakras? Good question. Not even close to my expertise. Stay with me…

On Saturday, I was in an intense session with a massage therapist who is working with my Chiropractor to figure out why my neck, shoulder and upper back are in so much pain. In fact, I have not really slept in two weeks. Yes I have disc issues, but they are easily treated with through my Chiro, Energy Healer, Therapist and Pilates.

During the session, my awesome massage therapist Peter said… “Something is up with your fifth Chakra.” You are struggling with being heard, or speaking your truth. I’m like, me? Seriously?

And then it hit me, not only have I been struggling with some situations in relation to expression, but my heart has also been so heavy witnessing the injustices of the world, and in particular the intense negativity on social platforms. And I have not spoken up enough about how I feel. As the great Martin Luther King so brilliantly said… “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

What was so interesting about this session, is the evening before, I was awakened at 12:30AM, to passionate protesters marching down my street, for the 5 or 6th time in the last two weeks. I went to the window, and began to weep. The weeping quickly turned to straight up balling me eyes out.

Now it’s beginning to all make sense. My heart is aching for words I have left unsaid, but even more, for the fact that these beautiful and passionate young people, are up at 12:30AM, marching in solidarity, chanting what sadly have become recent trending hashtags #handsupdontshoot and #icantbreathe. I was both sad and inspired. Needless to say, it moved me beyond words.

It also happened to be World Aids Day on December 1st, which brought up a lot of emotion for me, as I thought about marching in protest on Washington DC with ACT UP in the late 80’s, early 90’s. And we were angry. Our chant was “Silence equals death.” A life changing time indeed. And almost a bit eerie that the messages are not all that different. Being seen and heard. Wow.

As humans, we all have a core need to be seen and feel heard. And when we are not, we begin to crumble. This can be expressed with anger, resentment, physical alignments or simply withdrawing from society. If protesters felt seen and heard would things be different? My heart thinks so.

We can take this same thought, and apply it to businesses, as business is life. Do we feel seen and heard? Does our team really feel seen and heard? Do our clients really feel seen and heard?

I can tell you from experience, team members and clients leave our businesses because the answer is no.

So now I have some intense work to do on getting to the bottom of my pain, and maybe you do too.

Love + Awesomeness-
Nina

Until You Consider

February 3, 2014Nina KovnerMY TRUTH

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it. – To Kill A Mockingbird

 Here is the audio version of this post. Thank you so much for listening.

As I opened up the TMZ app Sunday morning, my heart sank, another beloved celebrity, another drug overdose.  Then comes all the voices on the internet, some singing praises and sadness, many passing judgement. It happens. Every time. And every time. I sit in horror and sadness.

I never knew Philip Seymour Hoffman, or Cory Monteith, or Chris Farley or many of the millions of souls who lives are taken by drugs, or mental illness.

What I do know, however, all too well, is my own battle and the battles of my loved ones.

Suicide resides on both sides of my family as does addiction.  I have sat by the bedside of loved ones as they survived their 3rd heroin OD in as many years.

I have come close to taking my own life, twice, and have battled with addiction in many forms. So you bet I understand. And I have immense compassion.

Its time to get serious about mental health. Its time to acknowledge that so many of our problems as a society stem from not addressing mental health issues. Homelessness, mass shootings, crime, prison overcrowding, overdoses and suicides, so much of it stems from mental health.

Until you have climbed into my skin, you may never really know what it feels like to be in so much pain that dying seems like the best solution. Until you have climbed into the skin of a heroin addict or a schizophrenic, or someone who is bi polar, you will never fully understand. But instead of judging and blaming, how about become part of the solution.

You see, one of the most tragic things about mental health is we struggle in silence. We don’t have a disease that people rally around and raise money for. No, we are the forgotten ones until a famous person tragically shows up in the news. Then one 24 hour news cycle later, we are forgotten again.

What can we do? Get educated. Show some compassion. Listen. Stop judging. Talk about it. Lift the stigma.

Just like any movement, the more people that become aware, the more conversations we have, the more we can bring about change.

While there are many quality facilities that offer help, there are not enough. We can do better. For ourselves, our families, our friends, our co-workers and our communities.

This is not about politics, its about life.

(shared with LOVE from Nina)